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Inside the Mind of the Insecure

Linda recently fell in love, and although everything was going smoothly between her and her partner, Linda felt insecure about the relationship. She dreaded the day that it would end and was always worried about their future together. Whenever she received a complement from her partner she assumed he didn't mean it and thought to herself: "I'm sure he's lying. I'm definitely not as pretty as some of the other girls he knows."

On the occasions that he would go out with other girls she felt terrified that one of them would steal him away from her. She thought that she was justified in her attitude and that she was being prudent because she felt sure that she wasn't as attractive as other girls.

Why May Someone Feel Insecure About a Relationship?

If you were a famous celebrity and were successful, rich and good-looking, would you feel insecure upon entering into a new relationship?
Of course you wouldn't, but do you know why?
It's because you are sure that almost every girl/guy’s dream would be to be with you. You are sure of your looks and abilities and so never feel insecure.

Feelings of insecurity in relationships are mainly due to not being sure of one's self, looks or anything else you consider important. You just don’t feel that you are good enough for your partner and so you always think that he/she will be looking for someone to replace you. This will turn you into a needy person to such an extent that, eventually, your partner will hate you. In this way you have unintentionally fulfilled your worst fear.

How to Deal with Feelings of Insecurity in a Relationship?

Dealing with feelings of insecurity in relationships is not a hard thing to do. You just need to take the following actions, deciding which are relevant to your case:

• Improving Self Image: If your feelings of insecurity are because you think that you're not good-looking enough for your partner, then its time to improve your self image. Contrary to what you may be thinking this process is very practical, realistic, easy to implement and best of all, very effective in making you feel better about yourself.
• Building Self-confidence: Sometimes the problem is with an aspect other than self image. It may be that a lack of self-confidence is the root of your feelings of insecurity. You don’t trust your ability to retain someone's love for a long period of time, and so fear that your partner will suddenly decide to leave you. If this is indeed the case then you should start to build your self-confidence now. That would make you more sure of yourself and of your ability to retain your partner's love. It'll remove your feelings of insecurity and improve your relationship with your partner.
• Feeling Inferior: Perhaps one of the strongest reasons that can make someone distrust his abilities is feeling inferior when compared to other people. Many people who suffer from feelings of inferiority also experience insecurity in their relationships. In that case dealing with their inferiority is what should first be done and will also remove any insecurity they feel about their relationships.
• Fear of Rejection: If you were rejected more than once in previous relationships, you may start to believe that you deserve to be rejected or that there is something wrong with you that makes other people reject you. If this is how you feel, your goal is to remove this preconception by realizing that there are hundreds of reasons that could make someone reject you that have nothing to do with you personally.
• Other Reasons: There may be other causes to your feelings of insecurity, however they will always come down to one thing: not being sure of your own abilities. In general you should try to identify the one thing that most makes you unsure of yourself, and take action to build up confidence in that area.

Final Words

Feeling insecure in a relationship is not a big issue. If the proper actions are taken; namely commiting to improving your self image and building up your self-confidence, your feelings of insecurity will fade away.

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Did that help?

Yes, but I want to know how to improve my self image.

My problem is that I always feel jealous. What can I do?

Yes, but I want to know how to build up my self-confidence

Yes. My problem is that I have feelings of inferiority. What should I do?

Yes, and now I need to remove my fear of rejection. How can I do that?