The power of solitude

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Do you feel bad when you are Alone?

What kind of emotions do you experience while being alone?
Do you feel bored?
Do you feel unhappy?
do you feel bad?

We Humans are social beings by nature. We enjoy the company of other people and the activities that allows us to connect with them. But if you feel really bad when you are alone instead of just feeling OK or a little bored then you may lack the power of solitude.

The power of Solitude

The power of solitude is the expression that is used to describe the trait that allows a person to feel good and adequate when being alone. I am not saying that you should always be staying alone but at least when you are alone you shouldn’t feel that bad.

What makes a person unable to stay alone is his external dependency which is the desire to escape from his bad mood by doing anything that could keep him busy (like meeting people in our case).

Note that developing the power of solitude doesn't mean that you shouldn't have friends for some people get this wrong. Any normal person won't survive without having intimate friends but if you do have friends and still can't spend any time alone then probably you are in need of the power of solitude.

Why do i feel bad when am Alone?

If you currently don't have any big problems in your life then most probably you will be able to feel good when you are alone. In such a case you will be able to enjoy doing any activity on your own. This doesn't mean that bringing friends won't make the activity more joyful.

On the other hand if you are not feeling OK ,because of some unsolved problems for example, then most probably you will feel like wanting to escape the pain. This feeling might be the primary motive behind your desire not to stay alone. So the power of solitude is not constant but it changes with the external circumstances.

There is no problem at all in escaping to social life when you have big problems provided that you are already working on solving the problem.

People who escape from their problems and never try to solve them end up feeling depressed. In my book The ultimate guide to getting over depression i explained how ignoring your problems and allowing them to accumulate can be the primary source for depression. Some people do their best to solve their problems by taking actions while others never do anything and thus end up depressed.

Satisfy your needs

We need others because we have many unmet needs. The more unmet needs we have the more needy we will be when it comes to spending time with others.

If you constantly need reassurance or attention then you might find yourself unable to stay alone even for few hours. Understand your basic needs, work on satiating them with a solid plan and you will develop the power of solitude.

Note that this doesn't mean that you shouldn't have friends. Make friends, spend time with them while making sure that you are not so dependent on them. That's how the power of solitude works.

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Want to know more?

Why do we feel bad?

No, I feel bad when being alone, I don’t know why

How to get over loneliness?

How to get over anyone in few days (book)

How to make anyone fall in love with me fast (book)

How to end Depression instantly (book)

How to control people's minds (Course)

How to develop rock solid self confidence fast (course)






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