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Why do some people molest children

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Sex and psychological needs, what's the connection?

Why do some people molest children?
And if its biologically natural to get attracted to children, as some sick people claim, then why don't most people molest children?

The biggest mistake people do when trying to understand a socially unacceptable sexual behaviour such as rape crimes, homosexuality or child molestation is that they look at the biological part without taking the psychological part into consideration.

The one fact that many people aren't aware of is that psychological needs can trigger sexual desire, In other words, a person could get turned on just because his mind wants him to satisfy a certain psychological need and not because he needs sex. (see How psychological factors affect sexual desire)

This is also the same reason why different people have different sex fantasizes. Its because those sexual fantasizes themselves were shaped by the person's unique psychological needs.

In one simple example a man who always felt inferior to women might feel good when he humiliates them in a way or another (BDSM for example?)

Now if you want to understand why people do what they do then you need to forget completely about the sexual part and focus solely on the psychological part.

why do some people molest children?

Because each human being is a completely different case we can't make a if/then conclusion about human behaviour. For example you can't assume that every man who rapes a woman feels inferior to women because there might be lots of different reasons that lead to that same strange behaviour.

The same goes for child molestation, in order to understand why a certain person molests children you need to get to know more about his personal background and the way he was raised. The below are some cases that can help you explain the different cases you might come across:

  • Desire fueled by revenge: If the person wanted to take revenge from the parents of a child, if he wanted to make the child unhappy or if he envied the child in a way or another then he might suddenly find himself sexually attracted to the child. In other words, in molestation cases the subconscious mind might control the person like a puppet in order to let him achieve a completely different psychological goal that he might not be aware of.
  • Unfinished business: If that person was rejected, humiliated or abused by certain people then he might direct his anger towards children in order to remain mentally stable. In such a case that person will choose children who resemble the people who harmed him in the past. Physical similarity could be the primary trigger for his sexual desire in such a case. When people fail to deal with others in one stage of their lives they might develop psychological disorders that lets them seek revenge from those who resemble them. This is also why i said in my book How to make someone fall in love with you that people could fall in love with those who resemble the ones they loved before
  • Feeling superior or in control: People can use more than one way to satisfy the same psychological need. If for example a man failed to feel good about himself or in control then he might start to control others in different ways just to feel good about himself. Child molestation is one case where a helpless person tries to feel in control by making someone else helpless

How to help a child molester

I can give more examples but i don't want to keep repeating the same concept over and over as all examples lead to the same conclusion which is that the subconscious mind uses sexual desire to help a person reach a goal that is not related to satisfying his sexual needs.

In order to help a child molester you need to understand his specific case perfectly then help him satisfy that psychological need in a socially acceptable way. Is he trying to feel superior? then help him become a manager, a successful person or even a police man. (see also Striving for superiority)

Of course any attempt to help a person will be completely useless unless he is really willing to help himself out. People try to stop child molesters the same way they try to stop criminals and that's why the fail in both cases.

If you want a person to stop a certain behaviour that the society doesn't approve then help him direct his energy towards another socially acceptable behaviour that satisfies his psychological needs.

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