How to Stop Feeling lonely

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Dealing with Loneliness

Why do some people feel lonely although they have lots of friends?
Why we sometimes feel lonely even when we have friends around us?
And why do some people never feel lonely although they have few friends?

Only one word could provide an answer to these questions, this word is “Intimacy”.
Intimate relationships are the relationships where people share their deep feelings and emotions with others. If you have hundreds of friends but your relationship with them is superficial then you will still feel lonely.

Loneliness can cause a wide array of bad emotions including depression. In my book, The ultimate guide to getting over depression i explained how depression cannot be cured until you satisfy your unmet needs. If your unmet need was the need for intimacy then unless you bring the lost intimacy to your life you will stay depressed.

Loneliness and Falling in Love Often

If you have true intimate relationships with two of your friends then you won’t be craving intimacy all the time and that could prevent you from falling in love often.

Some people fall in love just because they feel lonely. Of course those people don’t do it on intention. But because their subconscious minds find no source of intimacy they force them to fall in love often to compensate for these feelings of loneliness.

What I am trying to say is that you could fall in love often just because you don't have intimate relationships with your close friends. What’s dangerous about this problem is that you will fall in love whenever you get the chance to be loved and not when you find the suitable person. The result could be discovering later that you don’t want that person you are with. These kinds of relationships are very likely to end with a breakup.

Feeling Lonely even if I am in a Relationship

If you feel lonely although you are in a relationship then there is an intimacy problem between you and your partner. Do you really share everything together? Or do you just go to the movies together then each one of you returns back to their own private life.

Do you share all your secrets and emotions or do you keep hiding your feelings just to gain the acceptance of each other? Do you have common hobbies or do you split up when you want do your favorite hobbies?

All of these acts can reduce intimacy and so increase the feelings of loneliness even if you were in a relationship.

Feeling Lonely after Graduation

Lots of people feel lonely after graduation and this happens because their life problems start to become more private than they were before. for example, at the college or the high school almost everyone has the same problems, the exams they should study for, the assignments they should deliver…etc

Sharing these problems creates intimacy with others even if you had no true friends but after graduation you might find no one to share your problems with and that's why you might feel lonely.

How to Stop Feeling Lonely

If you want to stop feeling lonely then follow these guidelines:

  • Form intimate relationships with your close friends
  • Share your deepest emotions and secrets with your partner
  • Try to share your problems with others specially if they had the same problems
  • Make friends with those who have similar problems as yours
  • Make friends with those who have similar interests as yours
  • Don't form superficial relationships
  • Learn to trust people because else you won't be able to share anything with them
  • Encourage people to tell you about their problems
  • Share your important life events with your friends
  • Create intimacy with your relationship partner
  • Avoid sacrificing intimacy for Acceptance

2knowmyself is not a simple article website nor it’s a place where you will find shallow fixes, but it’s a place where you will find effective techniques that are backed by psychology and that are presented in an obvious and understandable format. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see why is 2knowmyself Different. 2knowmyself has recently released the book "How to make someone fall in love with you", a book that will increase your chance of making someone fall in love with you by at least ten folds.

Want to know more?

The Need for belonging

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My Problem is that i Fear Intimacy

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