How striving for social approval affects self confidence

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

social approval and self confidence

do you find it very hard to be criticized by someone even if its a constructive criticism?
do you feel real bad when someone rejects you or dislikes even if you have other people who care about you?

do you try to please everyone around you at the cost of your own happiness?
do you pick certain clothes just to appeal to other people and do you always follow the latest fashion just because its a fashion and not because you like it?

If most of your answers were yes then know that you are fighting to get social approval. People who are after social approval usually do their best to please everyone around them so that they can be accepted by their society .

what's the problem with trying to be approved?

the problem with social approval is that it can let you lose your identity in order to appeal to other people. It also makes your self confidence and your self worth Dependent on people's opinion.

If people were kind enough one day to complement you then you will think that you are worthy and if people were in a bad mood and so didn't treat you well you will feel that you are worthless.

This instability that affects both your self image and self confidence resulted from one thing which is striving for social approval and giving people's opinion more weight than it should carry.

Why do people strive for social approval

In the Solid Self confidence program i said that if you feel that you are worthy and valuable then you are less likely to fight for social approval. Striving for approval is usually rooted to feelings of inferiority and inadequacy. When someone feels inferior to others he needs some kind of a clue or a proof to make him feel that he is worthy.

what to do in case you fight for social approval

If this is how you think and feel then its time to know that your value and your real worth can only be determined by you and that depending on others to estimate your worth will only result in a yoyo self confidence that decreases when people ignore you and that increases when they approve you.

Do you want to live at the mercy of others just because social approval is important to you?

How to avoid peer pressure

Peer pressure can be the main drive motivating you to strive for approval. Instead of being a follower learn how to develop your own sense of self worth and try to be a leader.

When you do this you won't only stop seeking approval but your self confidence will become much higher since you will find that you got rid of one of the things that used to make you feel worthless.

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did that help ?

I feel inferior to others

I want to build self confidence

yes but what do you mean by losing my identity ?

I sometimes do something because everyone around is doing it

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