Social approval

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Social approval

The following story will give you a perfect understanding of the term social approval and its effects on your self esteem.

once there was a lion living in a big forest along with his other lion friends. one day that lion decided to visit the place where the hedgehogs lived .upon his arrival there he liked the place much and so he went to the leader of the hedgehogs and asked him if he can stay with them. the leader told him, "i am sorry, you are much different than us, please go and cut your tail in order to look more like us".

So the lion went away and thought about it and then decided to cut his tail because he needed to be approved by them badly. The lion came back to the hedgehog's leader and asked him if he can stay with them and the leader replied "hmmm your looks are still much different ,please shave all of your hair in order to look more like us".

But the lion was in need of social approval

The lion thought that this is too much but because he wanted their approval so much and because he was eager to be accepted by the hedgehogs he shaved his hair then went back to the leader leader who told him "hmm, you still need to remove your very long nails in order to look more like us", the lion thought about it, then he did it for the sake of being approved.

After returning back the leader told him "am sorry but, seems that whatever changes you do to yourself you can never look like us, maybe you was never meant to be a hedgehog. Now please leave.

The lion headed back home feeling very disappointed and upon arriving back to the place he found big surprise was waiting for him. The other lions didn't accept his new looks and told him that he is no longer a lion. "you lost your identity , you are no longer a lion" said one of the lions.

The lion went away feeling bad and lost. He sacrificed precious things for social approval yet he got nothing.

How the need for social approval impacts self esteem

The problem of that lion is that he exchanged his identity for social approval. He sacrificed his true self to gain the approval of others.

The same story happens everyday but with lots of human beings who sacrifice their self esteem for social approval. They change the way they dress in order to appeal to others, they sacrifice what they like for what others like and the result is usually either one of a two things, either acceptance but zero self confidence or either rejection and a loss of their identity.

In the Solid Self confidence program i said that a person will never manage to become confidence before his subconscious mind accepts that he is worthy and this can never happen before his self worth comes from within. What striving for social approval does is that it allows others to control your self confidence while leaving you helpless.

The need for Social approval makes you less attractive

contrary to your beliefs people will like you more when you have your own opinion , ideas, likes and dislikes .

This article is not against conformity but its against blind conformity. When you start to stop doings the things that you like in order to get approved then know that your self confidence is in real danger.

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