Happiness and external factors

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Happiness comes from within

Have you ever wondered why some rich people are unhappy while some other poor people are happy?
Have you ever wondered why you may feel happy one day then feel bad the other day without doing a significant change in your life?
Why are some people happy although they don’t have everything? And why are other people unhappy although they have many things?

The answers to these questions are simple; happiness is an internal state of feeling that is independent of the external factors. This does not mean that you can be happy while everything is bad but what it means is that you can be happy without having everything.

I am not happy because I lack something

Most people make the mistake of looking for external factors to fix their bad mood, they try to change everything around them in order to feel happy but in the end they find that they are still feeling the same.

Do you want a proof for this? Just remember the old times when you felt happy, didn’t you notice that you didn’t have everything at that time yet you were happy? And didn’t you notice that at that time very small things used to make you feel happy?

That same song you listen to now and feel nothing used to make you feel happy at that time. That traditional hangout with your friends used to make you happier at that time, What is that all about? It’s only because you were happy and so you started to enjoy everything around you but when things changed and you found yourself feeling bad you started to blame these same traditional things for your unhappiness.

The real relationship between happiness and external factors

Many people blame their unhappiness on external factors. Out of the hundreds of the external conditions you are blaming there may be only one or two factors that are the real cause for your unhappiness. The other factors you are blaming are just innocent ones that you included because your mood is not good.

In my book, The ultimate guide to getting over depression I explained how people usually blame all the factors in the world for their bad moods while in fact they only need to deal with one or two issues in order to feel really good.

Only changing or accepting the real causes of your unhappiness can make you become happy. Going for small temporary changes like traveling or buying new clothes will have a temporary effect.

If you found yourself blaming every small thing around you then it’s time to search for the root cause of your unhappiness and deal with it in order to become happy.

Happiness and need

This doesn't mean that the external environment can't affect your happiness levels. In fact a great deal of our happiness is directly connected to whatever is taking place in our lives, however finding the right factors affecting us is the correct thing.

To become truly happy you need to understand your core needs perfectly for if you failed to satisfy your core needs then unhappiness might happen.

And because those core needs get affected by the changes in our environment any external change can greatly affect our happiness levels. In short finding out the things that matter and the things that don't is the key to becoming happy.

2knowmysef is not a complicated medical website nor a boring online encyclopedia but rather a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and presented in a simple way that you can understand and apply. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.

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