Don’t blame yourself,you couldn’t have done better

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

I wish I didn’t do that

Why did I do this?
I can’t imagine I did it
If I just did this instead of that I would have been somewhere else now

Do you find these phrases familiar? Probably yes, its how we act when we believe that we could have done better than what we did. This is the way most people think when they experience regret.

Don’t blame yourself, you couldn’t have done better

What you don’t know about regret is that usually you will regret situations where you couldn’t have done better even if you had a second chance.

At the time you did that thing you were not sure of the consequences but after you did it then found bad ones you started to regret it. Simply at the time you did that thing you didn’t know that you will regret it later!!

If you were to face that same situation a hundred more times you will act the same way you did because you will always have the same resources.

The word resources refers to your mental state at that time, your ability to think and all other variables involved.

When controlled by emotions, you can’t access all of your resources

When you become controlled by an emotion you will usually have access to a small part of your mental resources.

That’s why some criminals say things like “I cant believe I did that” . They cant believe they did it because they are currently using all of their mind's resources to think but at the time of the crime only resources such as anger, rage or revenge were available to them.

I am not saying that you should do whatever you want then say I couldn’t have done better but what i am trying to say is that you should do your best to act correctly but if you did something that you didn’t like then don’t regret it.

know that you couldn’t have done better given your current resources because at the moment you did that thing you thought that you were doing the right thing.

Develop an action plan to get rid of regret

As soon something that you regret happens develop an action plan that can reassure you. Lets suppose that you were rejected in a job interview. In such a case your mind needs reassurance in order to withdraw the feelings of regret.

Start by thinking of the other opportunities you can still take (applying at other places for example) then write them down.

If your subconscious mind believed that there is another way out then it withdraw the emotions of regret and you will feel better.

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