Codependency

Do you need me?

Out of the desire to be needed and out of wanting to hold to a relationship by any means even if it wasn’t a healthy one some people start to bury the problems that exist in their relationships without trying to face them. This is other wise known as codependency.

A codependent person will always try to cover his relationship partner or one of his family members even if they knew that he is doing something wrong. A codependent person will always make excuses for everyone to justify his partner’s addiction to drugs or his son’s continues absence from school.

As you can see, codependency results in suppressing someone’s real emotions for the sake of feeling needed by his partner. A codependent person refuses to confront his family with the real problems that its facing just to preserve the title of the “caretaker”.

Problems caused by codependency

A codependent relationship is anything but a healthy relationship. The codependent partner will always be struggling with fear of rejection, fear of abandonment and the need for approval.

On the other hand, real problems within the family are buried deep in the ground as a result of the codependent behavior, this encourages the continuity of the problems and the development of new ones. Its very common to find drug abuse, alcohol abuse or emotional abuse in a codependent relationship.

The codependent person will usually become overly responsible for everything that happens to his partner to an extent that he forgets about his own wants, needs and desires.

What causes codependency?

When a child grows in a family that teach him that its not appropriate to talk about his real emotions and that feelings should be kept to himself he may develop codependency. In addition to this, the desire to be needed and the lack of self esteem can result in making the person forget about his needs just to get the approval of his relationship partner, which is again called codependency.

In my book How to get over anyone in few days i mentioned various reasons that could result in making a person become attached to someone else other than loving him, like lack of self confidence, ego issues, guilt...etc. If you really do want to recover from a breakup then you should learn how to deal with such factors, and after you do, you will find yourself no longer in love with that person you thought you loved.

Codependency and recovery

Recovering from codependency requires you to learn how to be assertive enough to declare your wants and needs in addition to having enough courage to confront your partner with the real problems that you are both facing in your relationship.

Some people think that codependency can preserve the relationship or prevent breakups but this is completely wrong. Although codependency may help the relationship to survive a bit longer still in the end it will result in a collapse.

In addition, the codependent partner will be suffering from guilt, fears and anxieties as long as he is engaging in the codependent behavior.

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Want to know more?

How to become assertive?

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How to deal with guilt?

How to deal with Relationship dissatisfaction?

What are the signs for codependency?

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