Tips for Long Distance Relationships

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Do Long Distance Relationships work?

Long distance relationships are relationships that involve two people who live far apart in such a way that they are unable to meet except once every few weeks or even months.

There is a common belief that long distance relationships don’t work and while I am not completely against that belief still I am not completely with it.

The aim of this article is not to prove that long distance relationships work all the time but its aim is to explain the problems that sometimes accompany long distance relationships from a psychological point of view so that you can avoid them and help your relationship survive.

The Problem with Long Distance Relationships

When i talked about the psychology of convincing people i explained how the subconscious mind can be convinced to believe in something through repetition. The rule is simple,If you kept repeating a belief over and over you may eventually believe in it provided that you don't have opposing beliefs. (see Why affirmations never work)

This rule is true in relationships too. The more you see your partner the more you will become become attached to them and the more intense your feelings will be towards them. That's why you recover from a relationship that lasted for a week faster than a relationship that lasted for a year.

The problem with long distance relationships is that people don’t see each other for long periods of time to the extent that they sometimes experience weird feelings when they meet again. In this case intimacy is reduced between both partners and they might end up having no emotions towards each other.

The internet & Long distance Relationships

When the relationship starts over the internet without even meeting each other the problem becomes bigger. Some relationships become solely based on the internet to the extent that each one of the people involved never knows how the other person looks like in real life. Some people fall in love, suffer from pain and even become depressed after a breakup without ever seeing the person they were in a relationship with.

The biggest problem with an internet based relationship is that when the couple meet in the real world they may discover that they have made a completely wrong choice.

This happens because of the violation of the subconscious criteria which is a list of items that a person must meet before you can fall for them. Since this criteria can’t be fully verified trough the internet the relationship can be terminated soon after the first meeting. (see the psychology Of Falling in love for more information on the subconscious criteria )

The internet is a good method to maintain the long distance relationship that started when you met that person in real life but it’s not a good place to start a new relationship.

Getting over a long distance relationship may be much easier than getting over any other relationship. If you were having problems getting over someone then make sure you check my book “How to get over someone in few days” which can help you get over anyone in the world in few days.

Long distance Relationships Tips

If you want to maintain your long distance relationship you should stick to the following practices:

  • See each other more often: See each other whenever you can, this action can prevent loss of intimacy
  • Video chat: Use a web-cam instead of the ordinary chat software
  • Maintain intimacy: Inform each other about every single event that is taking place in your lives
  • Reduce the long distance relationship duration: Make sure that the long distance relationship is going to be a temporary and a short phase of your lives.
  • Move!! Make clear plans to live together as soon as you can
  • Talk more frequently: When you talk more frequently to each other you will maintain the required level of intimacy to sustain the relationship
  • Be very honest: Honesty is very important in relationships but it's even more important in long term relationships. You don't want to be experiencing any kind of emotional changes without letting your partner know about it
  • Visit each other frequently: One of the things that can help a long distance relationship survive is visiting your relationship partner frequently. This action can help maintain intimacy between you both
  • Have clear future plans: In order to reduce the uncertainty surrounding long distance relationships you need to have clear plans about what you are going to do after this phase ends

The book How to make someone fall in love with you was released by; the book will dramatically increase your chance of letting someone fall in love with you.2knowmyself is, without doubt, the only complete source for the psychology of falling in love on the whole web. If you dare to challenge this statement then check out the psychology of falling in love section and you will discover it yourself.

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