Reasons for Divorce Series: Lack Of Self-confidence

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

The Reasons for Divorce

I wrote the reasons for divorce series for 2 reasons. The first is to help married couples avoid divorce and the second it to help people who are already divorced prevent this problem from happening once again.

Lack of Self-confidence and Divorce

Lack of self confidence!! What’s the relation between lack of self-confidence and divorce?

Contrary to what came to your mind lack of self-confidence won't make your partner reject you but On the contrary it can let you ask for divorce one day!! Confused yet? Here's a story that will make everything clear.

I Deserve More

The example about this guy will make it clear how lack of self confidence can lead to divorce. That guy was happy but not self confident; he fell in love with her at first sight and married her. She wasn’t that beautiful or intelligent but he was happy to find someone who accepts him in spite of all of his defects.

These defects had nothing to do with his looks or personality but they were false beliefs held in his mind and that were created by his subconscious mind. These defects made him think that he is less worthy than others.

Thinking that he is less worthy than others made him discount his right in living a happy life and in having a great partner and that’s why he fell for her; not because he loved her but because he couldn’t imagine that someone better would love him.

5 Years later, after he became more successful in his carer, he became more confident and started to rethink his relationship with her. “Don’t I deserve more?”, “I am a successful and intelligent person; shouldn’t I have a better wife?”, “I think that she is less than what I deserve”.

At that point, he decided to get a divorce.

The Reason for Divorce

People who have a self-confidence that is dependent on external factors usually suffer from extreme swings in their sense of self worth. In difficult times, they will consider themselves worthless and so think that they deserve much less than others, while when they become successful they will start to think that they deserve more.

The result of such thinking may be a divorce after a happy marriage because the increase in his self-confidence made that person think that he deserves a better partner.

How to Prevent Divorce in this Case

The question is how to prevent divorce in this case? The answer is simple: just make sure your self-confidence is dependent on your own self worth instead of making it dependent on external factors.

This will eliminate, or at least reduce, the wide swings in your self-confidence and so you won't be thinking that you deserve more, or less, every now or then. Aim for the best and believe that you deserve it otherwise you'll be risking your relation with your spouse.

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Want to know more?

Yes, what do you mean by making my self-confidence dependent on external factors?

What else can lead to a breakup or divorce?

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