Reasons For Divorce series,Poor Communication

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Divorce and Poor communication

They used to love each other so much
Everyone thought they’d make a perfect couple
They never thought that their relationship will end one day
But they got divorced!!

But why do people who love each other get divorced?? Because of many reasons and one of these reasons is poor communication between a man and his wife. Those people just discovered that they are so different after they knew each other well.

Why does this lack of Communication Happen?

Suppose that you didn’t drive a car before and that you used to think that when the fuel pointer points to the E (or empty) then this means that the car needs to be washed!!

What do you think will happen? Of course the car will stop leaving you in the middle of the street. But do you know what your fault was? You didn’t read the car's manual.

When a man and his wife live together they should be able to recognize the different signals that they both send. Both lack of self understanding and lack of understanding of people can cause a horrible communication gap between couples and so lead to divorce. Still want to know how? Then check out this example:

  • Tom seemed to be a nice and energetic guy, in addition to going to his work he regularly plays sports, hangs out a lot and maintains a balanced life. When Sarah noticed his attitude she fell in love with him not knowing that he is a type A personality. Shortly after they got married she started to notice that he no longer listens to her when she talks, that he is always busy and that he is always shouting and complaining.

    If Sarah had just spent one hour of her time on the web searching about different personality types she would have saved her marriage because she would have discovered that type A personalities can never listen to anyone while working, that they experience from tremendous amounts of stress due to their exaggerated sense of time urgency and that they have tens of goals that should be achieved before a certain time limit passes.

    On the other hand Tom didn’t knew that he was shouting because of his unmet goals and not because the lunch was served thirty minutes later than usual. If tom had spent the same hour reading about personality types he would have known how to explain to Sarah how he thinks and they would have had better communication.

Lack of good communication between couples can lead to frustration which leads to relationship dissatisfaction which in turn leads to breakups. In my book The ultimate guide to maintaining a healthy relationship i described how lack of understanding can result in bad emotions that are suppressed and that leads to relationship dissatisfaction later on.

In order to have a healthy relationship you must make sure that you understand your partner's needs and wants not to let him become frustrated.

Divorce and Lack of Understanding

The moral of the story is so simple, if you didn’t fully understand yourself and your spouse you may end up with a divorce.

She may be talking to much because she may be burdened with problems
He may be shouting because he had a big problem at work that day
she may be taking every word as a personal insult because she lacks self confidence
he may appear to be cold because he is a little depressed

Am not talking about simple understating of separate situations but i am talking about a deep understating of yourself, your behavior, your weak points , your strengths and your spouse’s personality. Only then you will be able to overcome communication problems and only then you may be able to save your marriage from divorce.

You know how to operate a car, use a computer, fix your television but you don’t understand your inner works nor your spouse’s personality. How come you want to have no communication problems? Read your manual and your spouse’s manual.
of course you know where can you find all of these information, its all here in 2knowmysef ;)

2knowmyself has recently released the book "How to make someone fall in love with you", a book that will increase your chance of making someone fall in love with you by at least ten folds.

Want to know more?

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