fear of being seen alone

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Fear of being seen alone

Do you fear to be seen alone?
Do you sometimes avoid doing something that you like not to be seen alone?
Do you feel bad when a friend of yours comes late for his appointment because you had to wait for him alone?

If your answer to the previous questions were yes then most probably you have got the fear of being seen alone.

what causes the fear of being seen alone

Why do you fear being seen alone?
Actually fear of being seen alone is related to two factors, the first is having self confidence problems and the second is having incorrect idea about loneliness.

your self confidence is based on your self worth and your beliefs about yourself. This self worth should be intrinsic (does not depend on external factors like having a big car or being handsome) but when this self worth becomes externally dependent on other factors then you will feel less confident when you find yourself lacking one of those things. That's why some people hate to be seen alone.

they may think that I have no friends

As I just said, your main fear is that people may think that you are someone who has no friends or a loner!! What if you truly had no friends?

But just a second. Didn't each of those people passing by you now had to stay alone one day? Of course each and everyone of them has been in the same situation before and that's why you should never feel bad.

incorrect beliefs about loneliness

Another big problem that could make you fear being seen alone is having an incorrect belief about loneliness. Some people think that being lonely means that they are inadequate.

others consider being lonely to be some kind of weakness. whatever the incorrect idea you have about loneliness is it may result in letting you fear to be seen alone.

Shame and self esteem

The more a person lacks self esteem the more shame he experiences. When a person lacks self esteem he feels that something is wrong with him and because of that feeling he starts to hide whatever can make him seem less worthy to others.

This is the point where everything that looks like a flaw starts making that person feel ashamed. In such a case being seen alone is one of those things that reminds the person of his lack of self worth.

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did that help?

ok, but i am really a loner, what to do?

ok but how to get over the external self confidence problem?

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