Trying to prove yourself to others will lower your confidence

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Caring about what others think

How many times have you changed your behavior just to get the approval of others?
How many times did you put others into consideration when taking decisions?
Do you try to avoid letting people change the idea they formed of you even if it was on the expense of your own values?
Do you care about what others think?

It’s not bad to care about the opinion of others but when this concern reaches the level of changing your decisions just to not let people think badly of you then you have a real problem.

Why do I care about the opinion of other people?

It needs some courage to become aware of your true intentions especially after your subconscious mind hides them from you.

The subconscious mind can deceive you by letting you think that you are doing a certain action for a certain goal (being nice for example) while in reality it can be covering the real intention. The real intention in this case can be wanting to let others think that you are worthy!

Ask yourself these questions, what am I trying to prove to others? Am I trying to prove to them that I am worthy? Do I really think that I am worthy? And if it’s true then why do I care about their opinion?

Usually when someone strives to prove something to others then it means that he is not sure of it himself. If you care much about the opinion of other people then it may be because you are not sure of what you are doing and you just need their approval or reassurance.

Some people spend their lives collecting money just to prove to others that they can achieve financial success and not because they need the money. Some people strive for fame just to prove to others that they are worth the attention.

Your confidence will go low

When you eagerly try to prove yourself to others your self confidence will be at the mercy of those people. If those people liked you then you will feel worthy while if the opposite happened you will feel totally worthless.

In a previous article about self confidence i said that allowing people to determine your worth will only result in a totally unstable self image and very low levels of confidence.

Yes on some days you might feel good because people like you but on other days you will feel totally worthless.

How not to care about what people think

The key to stop caring about the opinion of others is to believe in yourself and in what you are doing. If you believed in yourself then you won’t need anyone’s approval to feel good about yourself nor will you need anybody’s signature on a paper stating that you are worthy.

You will never be able to please everyone nor you will be able to get everyone’s approval but you can easily change your own idea about yourself.

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