Psychological identity problems

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Why doesn’t he wear suits?

Tom has always hated to wear suits but he never understood why. All he knows is that he left his first job because he was obligated to wear a suit every day and that he couldn't take it anymore.

When tom was asked to describe the feeling he gets when wearing a suit he used the phrase “I don’t feel I am being me, it doesn’t suit my personality”

What did tom mean by saying “I am not being me”? And why does he hate suits that much?

Psychological identity problems

When tom was a little child he was always called a geek by his classmates. He had no friends, he used to stay alone and he was a computer genius. Such a combination of traits resulted in being perceived as a geek by his classmates.

Tom started to form the identity of being a geek even though he hated it so much. When he grew up he started to move away from anything that reminds him of his old identity.

Tom didn’t dare to read a book in public or in front of others without knowing why but after further examination he discovered that holding a book in front of others reminded him of his geek identity.

The same goes for suits which made him recall the feelings of following the class rules, wearing the full uniform and not being cool. Tom was moving away from anything that reminds him of his old identity that he didn’t like and was moving towards everything that helped him feel that he is not a geek.

Why do we like or hate things?

Lots of the things that we like bring us closer to the personality we want to identify with. If you like martial arts then there is a big possibility that you are trying to move towards the identity of being a strong person.

On the other hand we tend to hate everything that reminds us of the identities that we hate. This always happens on the unconscious level, for example tom never understood why is he is unable to read a book in public and why does he hate suits.

Take a quick look at the things you hate and the things you like then determine which identity are you are moving towards and which identity are you trying to escape from, By doing so you will get a much deeper level of self understanding and you will solve lots of the puzzles that you were living with for years.

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