Why do i feel so alone even though i have many friends

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Why do i feel so alone

Have you ever felt so alone even though you had lots of friends?
Have you ever found yourself feeling alone even though you were sitting with lots of people?
Do you sometimes feel that you are disconnected from the people surrounding you?

Most people think that loneliness is the feeling someone gets when he finds himself alone but the truth is that a person can feel lonely even if he had hundreds of people accompanying him. If you are wondering why do you feel so alone then read this article to find your answers.

Intimacy is the absence of loneliness

During college I had much more intimate connections than I have now. Even though nowadays I have much more friends still the bond was stronger between me and my friends during college time.

The main reason the bond was strong is that we used to go through exams, pain, happy events and problems together. It was as if we were all living in one boat, facing storms and enjoying sunny days together.

Intimacy is the opposite of loneliness and it can only be developed when you share your experiences with someone else, that’s why superficial relationships would never prevent you from feeling lonely even if you had thousands of friends.

The main point of intimacy is to share everything with others including emotions, feelings, concerns, thoughts and beliefs. Of course you can't just go and do that with every person you know but you just need few intimate friends whom you can do that with.

How to stop feeling so alone?

In order to stop feeling so alone you must:

  • Form strong bonds with the people you know: Tell them about your secrets and listen to their secrets. Don’t just meet them, have a superficial talk then leave but instead your conversation should be deep enough to strengthen your bond together
  • It's not about the quantity: The number of friends you have has no effect on the feelings of loneliness but it's intimacy that can prevent you from feeling alone. Having two intimate friends is better than having one hundred friends whom you barley know.
  • Don’t live in your own boat: Try to find something common between you and your friends (like a hobby) then do it together. This will further strengthen the bond between you and will reduce the feelings of loneliness
  • Make friends with people who are like you: Finding people like you and becoming friends with them is one of the things that can let you experience true intimacy. After all if you found yourself going through the same situation that someone else is going through then creating intimacy with that person will be an easy task
  • Don't let your insecurities isolate you: Many people decide to keep their lives completely private even though they have good friends. The insecurities those people have prevents them from sharing their feelings with their friends and as a result they experience little intimacy. If you have any of those insecurities then try to get over them in order to be able to develop true intimacy

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