Why do people cheat in relationships?

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Why do people cheat in relationships?

When you first fall in love with someone certain chemicals are released in your body that gives you the sensation of pleasure, joy and excitement. Later on these chemicals disappear and the feelings of love are felt through intimacy and closeness instead of butterflies in the stomach.

When a man meets another woman other than his wife and finds her attractive these chemicals are released once again whether he is a cheater or not. At this point cheaters go for the new relation while honest people avoid giving in to the feelings of attraction they felt.

People who don't understand this concept might cheat

When this happens to a cheater he never realizes that the attraction he feels towards that person results from the hormones that are released in his body but instead he thinks that he loves that new person more than his spouse.

Cheaters might say something like:

  • I experience new feelings when i see her that i don't experience with my wife anymore
  • I am more motivated to see him than to see my husband
  • I never seem to get bored of her

When we formulate these terms scientifically they become as follows:

  • I forget how those chemicals felt like, with that new person i can feel them again
  • More chemicals are pumped into my body when i see him than when i see my husband
  • i don't think those chemicals will ever stop being released (the same thought that he first got when he married his wife)

How to prevent cheating?

Most of the cheaters who understand this concept stop cheating simply because they realize that they are just chasing chemicals and not real feelings. In my book The ultimate guide to maintaining a healthy relationship i explained how both partners should understand the fact that chemicals won't last forever and that intimacy must take over such feelings in order for the relationship to survive.

People who cheat chase a mirage then sooner or later will find that the chemicals they were after disappeared once again and this is where serial cheating comes from.

If you know a person who cheats on somebody then let him read this article. If you cheat then now you know that you are only going after chemicals and that you not in love with someone else.

Isn't there any way to restore these chemicals?

Yes you can restore these chemicals to your existing relationship by doing things such as increasing the eye contact and experiencing exciting events together. For more information on this topic read my article how can i love my husband again.

Relationship dissatisfaction lead to cheating

Relationship dissatisfaction with of its all kinds can lead to cheating. If the person is unhappy in his relationship then he might cheat to satisfy the needs he can't satisfy in his relationship or to even unconsciously take revenge against their spouse.

In another article called Reasons people cheat in relationships i said that lack of understanding of what a person really wants can actually lead to cheating. A person can get into a relationship with someone without understanding his needs only to discover that he wanted something else.

This is why early marriage can sometimes lead to cheating because in a such a case a person might get married before knowing about their true needs or before even developing some of those important needs.

Wrong beliefs about love lead to cheating

Thanks to Hollywood many people now think that love is the soloution to all problems. When a person gets into a relationship with the goal of experiencing ultimate happiness then finds that nothing has changed then he might blame his partner instead of blaming his beliefs. See Why love is not like in the movies

Most people have very strong false beliefs about love that they defend them fiercely. As a person realizes that his relationship doesn't match his beliefs about love he might actually cheat.

2knowmysef is not a complicated medical website nor it's a boring online encyclopedia but it's a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and that is presented in a simple and obvious way. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.The book How to make someone fall in love with you was released by 2knowmyself.com; the book will dramatically increase your chance of letting someone fall in love with you.

Want to know more?

Is he cheating on me?(know the signs)

How do i know if someone is lying to met?

Why do people lie?

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