Effective anger management techniques

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

effective anger management techniques

Every now and then people tend to get angry. In the state of anger, people feel the blood rushing into their veins, find themselves acting irrationally then they regret it later.

It's obvious that anger is an emotion that shouldn't be taken lightly and that serious efforts must be done to control and manage it. By understanding how anger works you will be able to control it instead of making it control you. In this article i will present you with effective anger management techniques that will help you get over your excessive anger problem.

How to effectively manage your anger

Anger is a healthy mechanism launched by your subconscious mind with the aim of helping you in regaining control or defending your rights.

To deal with anger you must first understand the nature of the emotion you are dealing with. After all you can’t fight an invisible enemy. The following examples will help you understand exactly what anger is all about and what triggers it. Understanding what causes anger is the first step towards managing it effectively:

What makes you Angry?

You can get angry when:

  • Someone takes your turn while you're waiting in a queue.
  • You have a lot of work to do on your slow computer. This will result in stress that will turn into anger.
  • When you're in a team and you find a team member neglecting his work and leaving the work to the rest of the group.
  • When you feel afraid! Yes, anger could be a consequence of fear. For example when someone nearly crashes into your car you get mad and shout at him. Why did you get mad? Because you were afraid that your car would get smashed. So in this case your anger was a result of fear.
  • When someone makes fun of you.
  • When you get scolded by your superior at work.
  • When your boss gives you loads of work to do.

In all of the previous examples we can see that anger was triggered to preserve your rights (like when someone took your turn), when things didn’t go as you expected (like the slow computer) or as a result of fear (The car crash example).

If you understood these facts you can conclude that you can effectively manage your anger by learning how to control your fears, how to stand up for your rights assertively and how to set realistic expectations for life.

Why you need anger management

Unhealthy anger is totally useless and destructive. For example, cursing your computer won’t make it run faster just like kicking your car won’t make it work.

In such cases you are just wasting your efforts instead of channeling them properly. Learning effective anger management techniques will help you to utilize your anger appropriately instead of directing it elsewhere. When you turn your anger inwards instead of channeling it you may even become depressed. one of the known definitions for depression is, anger turned inwards.

When you suppress the emotion of anger instead of managing it properly these suppressed emotions will affect your mood in a negative way. Suppressed emotions will always leak through bad dreams, unexplained bad mood or sudden bursts of unexplained anger.

To make the idea even clearer, imagine that you're angry with your boss. Even though you're fuming, you probably won't do anything to show it ,Instead, you will just go home and find yourself shouting at your kids for the slightest thing. In this case You've directed your anger towards something (an innocent person instead of managing it properly).

Breakups and Anger management

In my book How to get over anyone in few days i explained how there are five stages for recovery from breakups that people must go through before they can forget about someone they loved.

The second one of these stages is anger where the person feels that he wants to take revenge from this person who dumped him. Thus learning how to control your anger can help you get over stage two quickly and so increase your speed of recovery from breakups.

Anger is just a Signal

Anger is like any other emotion. It’s a
message sent by your mind in order to force you to take an action. It’s a healthy emotion that can be channeled and properly utilized by using effective anger management techniques. Channeling it incorrectly will turn it from a destructive force to a useful and constructive one.

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