dealing with fear of rejection

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

dealing with fear of rejection

Fear of rejection is the type of fear that someone experiences when he finds himself about to be evaluated by others.

Fear of rejection may force the person to strive for social approval by sacrificing his wants and needs for the sake of getting accepted by others.

During your life its completely OK to have some fear of rejection at certain points of your life however if that fear became so intense in such a way that it prevented you from living your normal life then you must learn how to deal with it.

What causes fear of rejection?

There are hundreds of reasons that could result in the fear of rejection, here are some examples that can help you understand where such a fear comes from:

  • Childhood experiences: Our childhood experiences determine our future behavior to a certain extent. If you suffered from rejection by your peers, teachers or even parents when you were a child then you may develop fear of rejection when you grow up. In such a case your subconscious mind fears that the same situation happens once again and that's why it lets you experience the fear of rejection
  • Fear of rejection may be caused by lack of self confidence: if you suffer from lack of self confidence you will certainly fear rejection. People who lack self confidence depend on the opinion of other people around them to feel good and that's why the slightest threat to the change in this opinion can result in fears.
  • Fear of rejection may be fear of loneliness Sometimes the underlying cause for fear of rejection is the fear of being abandoned or ending up alone.

How to deal with fear of rejection?

The right way to deal with fear of rejection is to first find out the root cause behind it. It makes no sense at all to read about generic advice then try to fix your problem using them.

In the world of psychology there is no one size fits all solution for a certain disorder. If you fear rejection because you lack self confidence then nothing can help you get over this fear except building self confidence.

One of the biggest mistakes that people do when trying to deal with fear of rejection is that they avoid the situations that trigger their fears thinking that they are solving the problem that way while in fact that's completely wrong.

The worst thing you can do when dealing with any fear is avoiding it because all fears that are based on irrational ideas grow bigger as long as the person is avoiding them.

For example a person who fears darkness will fear it even more as long as he avoids it. Once the person starts to face his fears he will discover that it was based on false beliefs and so the fear will disappear.

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