How to show people that you have changed

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

I changed , now what?

I get so many messages from people who ask me how can they show others that they have really changed. A typical question looks like this one:

"Hi, i messed up a lot in my past and ruined my reputation. Now i changed and i became a better person. How can i let people forget my past and see the new me?"

Before i can answer this question i first need to explain to you how the human mind works and how do people change their beliefs about a person.

How beliefs change

In most cases beliefs don't change all of a sudden but they take a certain period of time before new ones replace them. There are many stages that a person usually passes through before one of his beliefs change, here they are:

  • 1) Being Sure that he is right
  • 2) Starting to have few doubts
  • 3) Starting to believe that he is partially right
  • 4) Having more doubts
  • 5) Being unsure that he is right
  • 6) Developing a new belief
  • 7) The new belief becomes stronger

So what does this has to do with you? If a person thinks that you are no good and then you changed then most probably he will go through all the previous cycle before he believes that you became a better person.

Now the question is, what is the factor that lets people move between those stages?
The quick answer is: its what you do.

How to show people that you have changed

When you start acting differently a typical person would ignore your actions because they aren't aligned with his beliefs (Stage 1). When you keep going on with your new behaviour lets say for few more days that person will start to wonder why you are acting that way (Stage 2). (see also How do people twist the facts to support their beliefs)

As you keep your new behaviour that person will start to believe that you changed a bit (stage 3). After that he will start to doubt whether he has judged you correctly or not (Stage 4). (see also Why do people change their opinion)

Then that person will start to have doubts concerning his old beliefs(stage 5) and if you continued with your new behaviour he will believe that you have changed. If you managed to keep that behaviour for a longer period of time then the new belief that person developed will become stronger. (stage7)

Do you want to force people to believe in you? Do you want to know how to charm people, hypnotize them, control their minds and attract them to you?

Then checkout The ultimate guide to developing super powers

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