I feel like others are better than me

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

i feel like others are better than me

I get many mails from people who tell me that they don't feel confident around their friends because of feelings of inferiority. "I am not as intelligent as them", "i am not as social as them" and "I am not as rich as them" are among the common complains the readers send me.

Those people certainly have the right to be confused because when they started reading online about "comparing themselves to others" they got advice such as "1) you must stop this habit" and "2) you must unlearn this bad habit" as if there is a push button that can end all of their pain in seconds.

But because its a part of human nature to compare ourselves to others it might not be possible to stop this habit completely. You can't convince your mind to help you feel good about yourself because you have a certain good trait that others don't have while you are telling it that it should stop comparing you to others.

Just like we compare our bad traits to others we do compare our good ones as well and that's why the comparison system is hard coded into our minds.

So what is the way out?
and how you can feel good about yourself in the company of your friends?

This is why you feel no good

The right practice to end any unwanted habit is not to suppress the habit but its to find out what causes the habit in the firs place.

You do compare yourself to others because you don't feel that you are good enough. In other words had you felt that you are good and worthy these comparisons won't have happened in your mind.

That's why the first advice i give to people who tell me that they have this problem is asking them to work on their self confidence.

In the Solid Self confidence program i said that self confidence can be defined as your level of satisfaction with whom you are. If you believe that you are up to your own expectations then you will feel confident and the opposite is true.

Now when a person who believes that he is not that good enters a room he will automatically compare his flaws to the ones who don't have them.

In other words, the habit of comparing yourself to others is a result of an old problem that you didn't take care of which is your low self esteem.

How to feel good about yourself

Start by finding out the things that you don't like about yourself then work on improving them instead of trying to prevent your mind from comparing them to others.

Most probably those things that you dislike about yourself are the ones that caused that low self esteem you are suffring from and by fixing them you won't only feel better around others but you will become more self confident.

Don't try to end a bad habit by force but instead understand its dynamics and you will be able to stop it the right way.

2knowmysef is not a complicated medical website nor a boring online encyclopedia but rather a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and presented in a simple way that you can understand and apply. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.

The Solid confidence program was launched by 2knowmyself.com; the program will either help you become more confident or give you your money back.

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