Rejection hurts when we are insecure

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Why Being Rejected Makes You Feel Bad

Do you know why do you feel bad when you get rejected?

It's not the rejection itself that hurts but it's the fact of being unsure of your self that hurts the most. If you were sure of your abilities and of yourself you wouldn’t have felt so down when someone rejected you.

Want the Proof?

What’s the first thing that comes to your mind right after being rejected?

If you received a rejection letter or if you were rejected by someone then what’s the first thing you usually do after the rejection?

You question your abilities and your worth that way:

  • If someone told you that you are boring then you will start asking your close friends whether they find you boring or not
  • If you submitted an article that was rejected you might review this article again to check if it was really up to the standard or not. You might even ask a friend of yours to evaluate it as well
  • If it was a letter of rejection that you received then you might start questioning everything starting by your own qualifications up to your performance at the interview.

In the Solid Self confidence program i said that every time someone feels bad after being rejected it’s because he was not sure of his abilities. He tries searching for anything that makes him feel worthy and adequate; if he finds anything, he feels better instantly.

Dealing with Rejection

You must know that dealing with rejection starts by building faith in your abilities and skills before presenting them to someone else to evaluate them.

If you are not sure of your abilities you will feel very bad if you were rejected. Learn more about your abilities, skills, and plans from all angles and aspects then ask close friends or people that you trust for their opinion.

But first, you should have a solid evaluation of your abilities. You can then go present yourself anywhere and if you were rejected, simply remember your previous evaluation instead of reevaluating yourself all over again.

If you were rejected then don’t try to analyze why it happened, don’t question your abilities, personality or dreams but just have faith in them.

Self-confidence and Rejection

As you may have already concluded, the more confidence you have, the less pain you will feel after being rejected. Self-confidence is not only about having confidence in your abilities but it's about having confidence in all what you do, the work you present, the documents you submit and in everything that is related to you.

Dealing with rejection is not only something that you should do after being rejected but it's something that you must do before you even present yourself to others for evaluation.

Did that help?

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