Feeling Insecure about Relationships

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Inside the Mind of the Insecure

Linda recently fell in love and although everything was going smoothly between her and her partner she felt insecure about the relationship. She dreaded the day that the relationship would end and she was always worried about their future together.

Whenever she received a complement from her partner she assumed that he didn't mean it and told herself: "I'm sure he's lying. I'm definitely not as pretty as the other girls he knows."

On the occasions where he went out with other girls she felt afraid that one of them would steal him away from her. She thought that it was so normal to feel afraid because she wasn't as attractive as other girls but she was wrong!!.

Why would Someone Feel Insecure About a Relationship

If you were a famous celebrity and were successful, rich and good-looking, would you feel insecure upon entering into a new relationship?

Of course you wouldn't, but do you know why?
It's because you are sure that almost everyone would love to be with you.
You are sure of your looks and abilities and that's why you will never feel insecure.

Feelings of insecurity in relationships mainly results from not being sure of one's self, looks or anything else a person considers important. If you don't feel that you are good enough for your partner you always think that he/she will be looking for someone to replace you. This will turn you into a needy person to such an extent that, eventually, your partner will hate you. If this happened then you unintentionally made your worst fear become real.

How to Deal with Feelings of Insecurity in a Relationship?

Dealing with feelings of insecurity in relationships is not a hard thing to do. You just need to take the following actions:

  • Improving your Self Image: If your feelings of insecurity resulted from thinking that you're not good-looking enough for your partner to like you then its time to improve your self image. Contrary to common beliefs this process is very practical, realistic, easy to implement and very effective in making people feel better about themselves.
  • Building Self-confidence: Lack of self-confidence may be the root of your feelings of insecurity. If You don’t trust your ability to retain someone's love for a long period of time then you will fear that your partner suddenly decides to leave you. If this is the case then you should start to build your self-confidence now. That would make you more sure of yourself and of your ability to retain your partner's love. It'll remove your feelings of insecurity and improve your relationship with your partner.
  • Feeling Inferior: In the Solid Self confidence program i said that one of the strongest reasons that can make someone distrust his abilities is feeling inferior compared to other people. Many people who suffer from feelings of inferiority also experience insecurity in their relationships. In that case dealing with their inferiority is the action that they should take and as a result any insecurity they feel about their relationships will disappear.
  • Fear of Rejection: If you were rejected more than once in previous relationships you may start to believe that you deserve to be rejected or that there is something wrong with you. If this is how you feel then your goal is to get rid of such false beliefs by realizing that there are hundreds of reasons that could make someone reject you that has nothing to do with you.
  • Other Reasons: There may be other causes to your feelings of insecurity, however they will always come down to one thing: not being sure of your own abilities. In general you should try to identify the one thing that makes you unsure of yourself the most and then take actions to build confidence in that area.

Final Words

Feeling insecure in a relationship is not a big issue. If the proper actions were taken; like committing to improving your self image and building your self-confidence then your feelings of insecurity will fade away.

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