I think that I am a Boring Person

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

I think that I am a Boring Person

If you think that you are a boring person then you will fulfill the prophecy and become really boring even if you were not!! Let’s just examine how your belief about yourself can create a self reinforcing cycle that can result in convincing you that you are really boring:

Step 1: You think that you are a boring person
Step 2: You avoid talking too much or you even avoid talking at all not to make others get bored of you.
Step 3: Since others will find that you are always silent they may start to actually get bored of you.
Step 4: A rude person may directly express his emotions towards you and tell you that you are boring
Step 5: You become more convinced that you are boring and so you repeat the cycle again.
Voila you have just fulfilled the prophecy!!

Break The Cycle

If you want to stop this from happening to you then you should break the self reinforcing cycle. You can break the cycle at two points, either by forcing yourself to talk while being with others or either by building your self confidence and so removing that irrational belief about yourself.

In both cases the self reinforcing cycle will disappear and your friends will discover the true you. Remember you will only be boring if you thought that you are boring and you will be an interesting person if you though that you are an interesting person, its all about beliefs.

Underdeveloped skills

In many cases you might be thinking that you are a boring person just because you lack the proper communication skills that would allow you to interact with people properly. If for example you didn't know what to say most of the time then remaining silent will either let you think that you are boring or will either let others make the same conclusion.

If this is the case then i have some good news for you which is that your problem is temporary. All you need to do is to find out the missing skills you don't have and then work on developing them. If for example you need to learn some conversation skills then go ahead and do it for that can solve the problem.

In short underdeveloped skills can make you seem like a boring person to others.

Inhibiting emotions

What about people who are interesting around close friends but find themselves boring around strangers?
In such a case any kind of inhibiting emotion , such as shyness or anxiety, can prevent you from being yourself around others and as a result people might think that you are boring.

Shy people for example might have a serious problem acting naturally around strangers and as a result most people , with the exception of their close friends, might fail to interact with their real personality.

If you have any kind of inhibiting emotion then work on getting rid of it so that you can be yourself around others.

Be around the ones who truly love you

First you need to make sure that you developed the right social skills and that you don't have any serious inhibiting emotions. If after that some people found you boring then you need to stop being friends with them

In the Solid Self confidence program i said that if you have loving and supporting friends then your self confidence will go up and the opposite is also true.

Move away from the ones who put you down and stick around the ones who truly love you.

No one loves me

If you read few articles about the psychology of falling in love you will find that you are doing the exact opposite of the actions that can make people fall in love with you.

In my book How to make someone fall in love with you i described how appearing to be confident, walking with a straight back and appearing to be assertive can dramatically increase your chance of making people fall in love with you.

With such a beaten up spirit and with such defeated attitude you are pushing people away from you. When you notice that people are being repelled you will start to believe even more that you are a boring person, so just break the cycle.

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2knowmysef is not a complicated medical website nor it's a boring online encyclopedia but it's a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and that is presented in a simple and obvious way. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.

Did that help?

The problem is that i don't find anything to say

Why do i feel that they hate me?

Where did that belief come from?

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