Why do some people need more attention than others

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Why do some people need more attention than others

Certainly no human being ever likes to be overlooked or ignored but some people seem to need more attention than others.

Why would a person become showy?
Why would a person strive to be in the center of attention?
Why do some people can't live happily unless they are in the spotlight?

As children we start to develop our desires and drives based upon the experiences we are put through. These drives then become the main drives behind our behavior for the rest of our lives unless something forces these drives to be changed.

How do the need for attention develops?

Below are some of the experiences a person might get subjected to that might aid in the development of the need of attention drive.

  • Being dethroned by a younger child: If a child was getting all the attention of his parents then suddenly he lost most of this attention to the newly born child he will start to do his best to capture this attention once again. Now the need for attention drive has been developed and if it was left that way the child will grow to become an attention seeking adult who does everything to capture the attention he lost earlier (see Birth order and personality)
  • Thinking that people are looking down on him: That is one of the very common reasons for showing off. In the Solid Self confidence program i said that a person sometimes shows off because of believing that others are looking down on him. By showing up the person attempts to elevate his value in front of others
  • Being an only child: You might wonder how an only child learns to strive for attention even though he gets all the attention he needs? in this case the child gets used to being in the center of attention because after all, he is the only child. When that child grows up, or when any child grows up, he tries to reconstruct his little environment (the one he had at home) if it was pleasant. As a result this child learns how to strive for attention in order to maintain what he already had earlier.
  • Feeling overlooked: I remember when i used to give personal development sessions how sometimes i come across a person who knows very little and who insists on trying to prove me wrong while i was talking. That person believes that he has some knowledge and in the same time feels that he is overlooked by others. In such a case he does his best to show off in order to let people notice him. In short, showing off in this case is a cry for help

Are there other reasons behind the need for attention?

Yes, Those were only few examples but in all cases the mechanism will be the same.

The person will come across some situations that will let him develop the drive for the need of attention and then he will live the rest of his life trying to satisfy that drive.

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