Fear of being controlled

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Fear of being controlled

We all hate to be controlled and we don't feel good if we felt that someone is trying to control us but for some people being controlled is more than just an unpleasant experience but its rather one of their worst fears ever.

After searching for my answers for a while i discovered that the fear of being controlled is another form of fear of losing control. The fear of being controlled is the fear of losing the control that you have by allowing someone else to control you.

Why do you think some people are stubborn? stubbornness is nothing more than a way we use to retain control instead of letting someone else take control.

Even if its a small decision, stubbornness is a method that some people use to make sure that they are still in control of the decision to be taken instead of allowing others to take decisions for them.

The fear of losing control takes over the person so much to the extent that he stars to sleep with his stomach facing the bed just to prevent himself from moving to the right or to the left while being asleep!!

Losing control

If you have experienced a situation where you have been lacking control as a kid then you may grow up as an adult who fears the loss of control. Being bullied as a child or feeling helpless are examples of traumatic situations that could be the seed of the fear of losing control you are suffering from.

Some adults who have the fear of being controlled develop the desire to control people just to help them make sure that they are safe from being controlled. They just think that if they controlled everyone then no one will be given the chance to control them.

In my book How to make someone fall in love with you i described how can some people let this controlling habits get inside their relationships by controlling the ones that they love!! Inducing guilt, fear, shame or other emotions in someone are popular methods that some people use to control their partners.

Face your fears

Just like all other fears, you need two things in order to face this type of fear which are collecting Knowledge and building courage. Since you are on this website you are already getting the knowledge you need but as for courage you are the only one who can build it.

If you fear the loss of control then know that your past is already controlling your behavior, your actions and everything that you are doing. If you really hate to be controlled then you should get rid of your past first because its now controlling you.

By fearing the loss of control you are actually letting one or two situations that you faced in your past become in control of your whole life. Face your fears, build your courage and stop trying to control everything in the world because its much easier to control your own response than to control everything else.

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Want to know more?

Yes, how do people control each other using induced emotions?

How to deal with stubborn people?

How to deal with the fear of losing control?

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