Fear of losing control

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Fear of losing control

Oh my God
What will i do
I never expected that to happen
I don't know what to do

I am sure that these phrases sound similar. These are the typical phrases that a person uses when he finds that he has lost control. Some people have persistent fear of losing control to the extent that they panic when an unexpected event happens.

Caring about the smallest details in their lives makes those who fear the loss of control feel secure However in a world that is changing so fast those who fear losing control never manage to become happy and even when they do they become occupied by the fear of losing control.

Being in control, is it possible?

Suppose that you were doing your best at your job and that you had a good relationship with your manager. Does this guarantee that you wont be laid off one day?

of course this can increase your chance of staying in the job but what if the company had financial difficulties and decided to lay off all the employees in a certain department?

What if you were prepared to arrive on time then found a car accident on your way that blocked the road?
What if you were feeling happy and then someone delivered you bad news?
What if you had an important meeting then suddenly became ill?

In such a world we live in events happen so fast to the extent that some of us become paralyzed by the continues daily changes that happen all the time.

Few years ago you had to meet a friend before you can know some bad news nowadays you only have to log online or to answer your phone to become connected to the rest of the world.

There are millions of changes that happen everyday and there are lots of channels that deliver you information about these changes immediately and this makes the idea of being in control of everything just a Myth. Even if you managed to control lots of your life aspects still there are going to be lots of other ones that aren't under your control.

In summary, being in control is a myth, no one can control everything in a fast changing world like the one we live in.

How you can be in control

What's easier, controlling hundreds of variables and unexpected events or controlling yourself? The only thing that you can control every time is your response to the sudden changes that happen.

This world we live in is not a place for those who panic or those who become paralyzed but its the place for the brave ones who receive the worst pieces of news ever without collapsing and without losing control of their emotions.

Whats meant by controlling yourself is being in control of your emotions. You actually lose control when you lose control of your emotions. As long as you stay close to the same emotional state that you were in before receiving the bad news then you are pretty much in control of yourself.

We are humans and we have emotions, am not asking you not to cry or not to feel bad but all i am asking you is to do these things in few minutes then stand up again and regain the control you have lost so that you can take the right decision.

Emotional decisions can result in doing things that you never wanted to do. These things could have a very bad impact on your life, in my book How to get over anyone in few days i described how the intense emotions experienced after a breakup can result in making someone get into a rebound relationship.

This relationship is destined to fail because it was started by someone who lost control and who was blindly trying to restore it back with disregard to what he has to do to restore it.

You can never control everything in life but you can control your response to everything that happens. Those who are really in control are those who don't let their emotions undergo major changes when they face unexpected events.

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Want to know more?

What about people who try to control others?

How to control my emotions?

How to control stress?

How to deal with unexpected changes?

What about the fear of being controlled?

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