How to feel confident around the opposite sex and people in general

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

How to feel confident around the opposite sex and people in general

Why do some people feel confident around everybody especially the opposite sex?
And do all good looking people feel confident around others?

No that's not right, i am sure you can now recall a friend of yours who is not as good looking as you are yet he is much more confident around people than you are. On the other hand i am sure you can recall a good looking friend who don't feel that confident around others.

So what's the secret behind the confidence felt around people? Why do some people manage to impress others with their confidence and why do others back off and miss great social opportunities?

The secret lies in their beliefs about themsleves and nothing else!

Self doubts and feeling confident around others

Jason and nick are two close friends. They almost have identical resources, same level of attractiveness and they share common interests.

Nick is very successful in his social life while Jason is always few steps behind. As soon as they encounter a new person, especially if she was a lady, nick takes the lead while Jason gets held back by the thoughts that pass into his mind. (see The right way to approach people)

"Will she like me? i am not that attractive nor i am that rich". This is an example of the thoughts that jump into Jason's mind when he encounters new people.

Because Jason is unsure whether he is interesting or not he only proceeds further when he sees comforting signs of acceptance coming from the new people he just met.

For example, if a person smiled back to Jason, talked to him in a friendly way or started asking him questions he gets encouraged, starts talking and becomes a real interesting person. On the other hand, if these signs were absent he backs off and shows that he is not that interested (without noticing). (see How to improve your social skills)

Now the fact that Jason missed is that the majority of people lack self confidence and as a result most of the people he encounters will never begin by sending acceptance signals. This means that Jason could meet a new person who is interested in him but both of them remain cold just because they are both unsure of the intentions of each other.

Perception problems and self doubts

When Jason finds no signs of acceptance from people he just met he starts to think that they don't like him. Nick, on the other hand, interprets the situation differently.

Nick understands the fact that most people feel anxious during first meetings and as a result he takes the initiative and shows that he is interested in them.

So did you get the difference between Jason and Nick yet?
Nick knows that he is interesting and he acts accordingly while Jason tries to collect facts to prove that he is interesting!

Nick wins all the time while Jason wins whenever he becomes lucky enough to find a person who sends him signs of interest that he can interpret correctly!

In the Solid Self confidence program i said that self confidence is all about a mindset. Believe that you are interesting and you will do miracles. On the other hand, start having some self doubts and you will fail to interpret every single action that the people you meet take.

2knowmysef is not a complicated medical website nor a boring online encyclopedia but rather a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and presented in a simple way that you can understand and apply. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.

The Solid confidence program was launched by 2knowmyself.com; the program will either help you become more confident or give you your money back.

Want to know more?

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Feeling anxious around the opposite sex

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