Why do i feel anxious

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Why do i feel anxious

If you tried to search the internet for methods that can help you get over anxiety you will always bump into breathing and relaxation techniques.

While breathing techniques are widely used to reduce anxiety and have been proven effective still they only work on reducing anxiety after it happens rather than preventing it from happening.

After all it makes a lot of sense to try to stop anxiety from occurring than to control it after it happens. It’s the same as trying to control depression using medication right after it happens rather than preventing it from happening in the first place.

In order to learn how to prevent anxiety you first need to know why you do feel anxious during certain situations. In this article I will explain how anxiety occurs and how you can prevent it.

What is anxiety all about?

Anxiety is an emotion experienced when you encounter any situation that might represent a threat to your well being. For example, if you have low tolerance to rejection you might become anxious in social situations because they can lead to rejection.

Let's suppose that you managed to increase your rejection tolerance by building self confidence and fixing your beliefs about rejection, won't that make you less anxious in similar situations? Of course it will.

In the Solid Self confidence program i explained how people feel anxious whenever they feel that they are not in control. When those people develop the skills that they lack they will feel more in control and so become less anxious.

If you feel anxious while speaking in public then this means that you are not sure of your ability to perform well in front of a crowd either because you lack certain skills or either because you never had the chance to test your skills before.

Learn new skills to prevent anxiety

Now what if you learned how to speak loud and clear, how to attract the attention of the audience and how to give an interesting presentation, won’t that make you feel less anxious during the next presentation? Again the answer is yes.

So to summarize it all, If you want to prevent anxiety then you must do the following:

  • Determine the situations that make you feel anxious: This is the first step to preventing anxiety
  • Know the skills that you lack: Dig behind these situations to find out the skills that you lack and that are the reason for the anxiety you experience
  • Learn and master these skills: Learn these skills and master them.
  • There is no problem in using relaxation techniques: There is no problem in using relaxation techniques along the way to help you be in control while you learn the missing skills but don’t depend on them alone because they will never cure anxiety on their own

We feel anxious when we doubt our ability to perform well because of the lack of certain skills, learn these skills and you will overcome anxiety.

Anxiety and past experiences

Sometimes the reason you feel anxious during a certain situation is the bad past experience you had during a similar event. If you made a serious car accident for example then you might feel anxious whenever you drive or you might even decide to avoid driving all together.

In such a case running away from your fears only makes the bad experience stronger. When you avoid the experience that led to bad outcomes you won't allow yourself to prove to your mind that it was a rare event. This is why i strongly recommend that you try to do the things you are afraid of, provided that they are not truly harmful, in order to get over your anxiety.

You might be wondering why you sometimes force yourself to do the things that scare you yet you still feel afraid when you do them. The answer to this question is simple, if you did the same task over and over while keeping the same negative thoughts then probably you will only be making your negative beliefs stronger.

In order to end anxiety you need to do the things that you are afraid of while maintaining a positive mental attitude. Here is an example to make things clear.

If you fear driving but kept thinking negatively while doing it then your negative beliefs will become stronger. If however you kept telling yourself that you are safe while driving then probably your negative beliefs will become weaker.

You might have learned to become anxious

You might be wondering why you sometimes feel anxious even though you never had a bad experience related to that activity before. In many cases we might learn how to develop an anxiety response as a result of the way our parents or caregivers raised us.

If for example you always saw your mother responding with panic to bad events then probably you will learn how to respond with panic to stressful situations.

In such a case what you need to do is unlearn this behaviour you learned by training yourself to react in a different way when you face the same situations.

When you keep using the new strategy in response to stressful events it will become a habit and it will override the bad habit of anxiety you learned earlier.

2knowmysef is not a complicated medical website nor a boring online encyclopedia but rather a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and presented in a simple way that you can understand and apply. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.

The Solid confidence program was launched by 2knowmyself.com; the program will either help you become more confident or give you your money back.

Want to know more?

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How to stop Living with fear

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How to control people's minds (Course)

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