Rejection and self esteem

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

rejection and self esteem

Self esteem is nothing more than a set of beliefs that determines someone’s over all worthiness. Contrary to common beliefs a person can’t change his beliefs by affirmations or positive thinking, but instead, he must provide solid proofs to his subconscious mind that supports the new beliefs he wants to believe in.

The guy who lacks self confidence is usually a person who has lots of solid clues (or at least that’s what he thinks) that proves that he is less worthy than others.

That’s why people usually advice those who want to build self esteem to set goals and achieve them because whenever a new goal is achieved a new proof will be provided to the subconscious mind that proves that the person is worthy.

Rejection and self image

The same happens with self image problems (not being sure of your looks or thinking that you are ugly) where the person thinks that he has solid proofs that proves that he Is less attractive than his peers.

The person who has a self image issue might find himself attractive on a certain day when looking in the mirror but whenever the first sign of rejection appears on the horizon this person might think that he is not attractive at all and even find himself less attractive when looking in the mirror!!

Why do you think you sometimes confuse a stranger who is moving towards you with one of your friends? Simply because before we see something as it is we first try to match it with the database we have in our minds.

In the Solid Self confidence program i said that if you received lots of rejections lately then most likely you will find yourself less attractive when looking in the mirror and vice versa!!

People who believe that they are less attractive focus on the features that they don’t like in their faces when they look in the mirror while those who think that they are attractive focus on their good looking features. (see Self image problems).

Building self esteem

Building self esteem is all about creating proofs instead of waiting to find them along your way. You should not wait until you do something good by chance to be told that you are intelligent but instead you need to unleash all the powers you have and try to make a great achievement so that you attract these proofs.

Set goals and achieve them, revisit the things that you have failed to do in the past and try to provide strong clues to your subconscious mind by taking actions and it will believe you.

In short, self confidence isn’t inherited but instead it comes through actions that provide proofs to the subconscious mind. If you want to be confident then you must be a doer.

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