How to live the life you want

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Are you happy

Are you happy with your life?
Sounds like a traditional question but when digging deeper behind it you might find that you are not living the life that you want by any means.

Are you happy with your job?? Do you wake up every morning feeling good or do you do your best not to get out of bed? Do you like your body shape or are you ashamed of it? Do you like how people treat or do you think you deserve a better treatment?

Many people are living lives that they don’t like, they follow the same routine everyday, do things that they dislike and keep complaining all the time about it. The reason these people are living like this is that they don’t think that they have any other options other than living such a life style.

Why are they living like that?

There are a lot of reasons that force people to live a life that they dislike but unfortunately these reasons are usually well hidden in such a way that people never notice them.

Instead of changing their life styles they think that there is no other option other than doing what they are doing and so they never take any further actions nor even question their dissatisfaction.

How to live the life you want

The following are the hidden factors that can force people to live a life they don't want:

  • Being deceived by their subconscious minds: In order to protect your ego, your subconscious mind might fool you into believing that you love what you do in order not to shock you if you discovered that this is not what you wanted in life. A perfect example that explains this situation is the man who says “My work is everything in my life” just because he doesn’t have a social life, in such a case being faced with the fact that he lacks social skills might hurt him so his subconscious mind chooses to present him with a lie such as “my work is my life” in order to hide the truth from him. This might seem like a perfect defense mechanism but the truth is that it results in depression. In my book, The ultimate guide to getting over depression I explained how fooling and deceiving yourself can work on the short run but on the long run result in depression. For more information read the article When he deceives you.
  • Giving up: Some people have tried to live the lives they wanted but failed many times. Not understanding the fact that success comes after numerous failures made those people give up and think that there was no other options but to live like this. Usually when we give up we feel bad because of the loss. If we didn’t respond to the bad feelings we will get used to them in such a way that we might not feel their presence anymore. Getting used to bad feelings doesn’t mean that you will feel good but instead it means that the bad feelings will become a normal part of your life and so you won’t complain about them anymore.
  • False beliefs: “Life is unfair” , “no one is happy” or “you can’t take everything you want” are among the false beliefs people form about life. False beliefs are considered a perfect defense mechanism, after all being a victim, believing that life is unfair and that you are unlucky removes all the responsibilities you have. Those who have courage fight for what they want while others form false beliefs in order to get rid of the responsibility.
  • The herd behavior: Everyone works from 9-5 , everyone is not doing the things that they want to do and everyone is not happy with their lives, so why would I be different?? My answer is, it’s your choice, if you want to live an unhappy and a miserable life then do like all other people who are living such lives but if you refuse to live like this then you have to be different than everyone else.

Living the life you want

Living the life you want is not hard or impossible you just have to understand the real reasons that are preventing you from living this life and face them with courage without giving up or forming false beliefs.

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