Fear of loneliness

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Relationships and the fear of loneliness

Do you do your best to avoid being alone?
Do you fear loneliness and try to avoid it at all costs?
Do you hate rejection not to end up alone?

If your answers were yes, then most probably you have got fear of loneliness

What causes fear of loneliness?

Fear of loneliness may be caused by one of the following reasons:

  • Bad memory of a loneliness experience: if you had a time where you were a loner at any point in your life and if you didn’t like that experience then most probably this experience will remain in your mind and you may end up fearing loneliness not to repeat that experience again
  • Using social relations as an escapement: some people try not to be alone and to stick to social groups in order to forget about their problems, I am not talking about people who try to solve their problems then escape every now and then in order to get a relief but I am talking about people who escape from their problems without trying to solve them. (see
    “escaping to social relations”)
  • Socializing for unmet needs:if you were lacking self confidence and if you were rejected many times before then you may end up becoming addicted to socializing only to get social approval in order to compensate for your unmet social needs. Surly in that case being alone would be the worst thing you want to experience

how to get over fear of loneliness?

The following are the steps you should do in order to get over your fear of loneliness:

    know more about loneliness: what is meant by knowing more about loneliness is knowing about the exact reasons that make you feel bad when being alone. When you understand what you are afraid of your fears will become less intense
  • Develop the power of solitude: The power of solitude is the ability to feel good and adequate when you are alone. some people enjoy being alone to the extent that they may go to watch a movie alone and then come back feeling happy. You too can be like those people. just read that guide about the power of solitude and how to develop it
  • change your way of thinking: usually fear is associated with negative thinking. If you are always expecting bad things before they even happen and if you are always afraid of things that rarely happen then its time to be a positive thinker.
  • know more about the psychology of fear: In this case you are dealing with two different emotions loneliness and fear. knowing more about the two emotions will increase your chance of getting over them. After all you cant fight an invisible enemy. know your enemy in order to be able to take it down.

Can you make new friends?

Sometimes the fear of loneliness is caused by the fact that you believe that you don't have enough skills to make new friends. Even if you have friends your beliefs will make you think that you won't be able to replace them in case they traveled or moved.

In such a case you need to work on your skills until you reach a point where you believe that you can easily make new friends in case you lost some of the old ones.

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Did that help?

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