Signs of codependency

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

What is codependency

Co-dependency is a disorder characterized by living to take care of someone else,ignoring your personal values and rights and attempting to control others.

Codependent people gain their self confidence when they feel that they are being needed by others and that’s why their main focus is to let others depend on them.

A codependent relationship is anything but a healthy relationship. The codependent partner will always be struggling with fear of rejection and fear of abandonment and this prevents him from having a healthy relationship.

Signs of codependency

The following are signs of codependency:

  • feelings responsible for other people’s problems
  • feeling guilty when your help isn’t effective
  • Low self esteem
  • trying to control people
  • being very sensitive to criticism
  • suppressing your emotions instead of confronting your partner with them
  • tendency to look for those who need help
  • having intense fear of rejection
  • having intense fear of abandonment
  • feeling insecure
  • having a sense of inadequacy

Signs of codependency in relationships

Because the codependent person went through certain life experiences that made him lose his self confidence and feel unneeded he grows up trying to do what he didn't manage to do before.

I my previous article How childhood experiences affect adulthood i explained how people always grow up trying to finish their past unfinished businesses.

Codependent people are no different, they try to finish their unfinished business by looking for a relationship partner who is in need of help.

This relationship the codependent person gets in helps him regain his self esteem when he finds that his relationship partner has became dependent on him.

The Signs of codependency in relationships are no different than the signs mentioned above in the previous section. The codependent person deals with all people the same way even his relationship partner.

Warning

Some people believe that they have all the disorders they read about. As soon as they start to read about the symptoms of a certain disorder they just say "that's me". if you are one of those people then you must make sure first that all of the criteria written about the disorder is found in you and even if you found these criteria in yourself you cant just judge yourself before you make sure first.

the problem with thinking that you have a certain disorder while you don't have it is that your subconscious mind will gather some false evidences to support this belief even if the belief was not correct at all.

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