Why do married couples get bored of each other

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Why i never got bored of my car

Years ago i wanted to buy a car but i had a very limited budget. I had to choose from between few cars that i didn't really like and i ended up with a nice car. In the beginning i was really happy and excited with the idea of having my own car.

I liked my car. It was reliable and nice looking but shortly i got bored of it. I saw others driving better cars and i felt like i am missing something.

Years passed and i started to understanding my personal needs more and when that happened i realized that my current car doesn't meet my personal needs but there was a more serious problem.

I couldn't afford to buy a car that matches my personal needs and so when i changed that car i also bought a one that doesn't match all my needs.

It's worth mentioning that each time i was about to buy one of those cars all my friends encouraged me and pushed me to buy it even though none of them understood what my needs were.

I then decided to do something i didn't do before. I decided to save and buy the expensive car that matches my needs and i managed to do it. For more than 3 years i used the car almost every single day and i never got bored.

Sometimes i saw better cars in the streets but i still felt that i am happy and satisfied with my car. After all it matches all my important needs.

Why do married couples get bored of each other

Probably you now understood exactly the point i am trying to deliver. When you get into a relationship because you found the best thing you can get in a certain time frame and because everyone else thinks that this relationship is good for you then probably you will get bored of that relationship fast. See how peer pressure affects you.

After all with each new relationship there is some excitement in the beginning even if that partner didn't match your needs. This is very similar to the excitement you experience when you buy a car that you don't really like.

But as the excitement fades you will realize that you bought something that you don't really want and that you do need something totally different.

I have spoken many times about unmet needs in my articles but i never said that if you got married to someone who meets your unmet needs then you will never get bored.

Yes the initial excitement will fade but you will still appreciate the fact that you are with someone you really wanted and this will remain throughout your life. Unmet needs usually remain the same for very long periods of time and this is why it's hard to get bored of something or someone who can help you satisfy them. See why finding a life partner isn't that simple.

And even if you totally satisfied one of those needs the other needs will still keep you attached to that person.

It's all about wrong selection

The number one cause for the problem of boredom after marriage is the wrong choice of relationship partner. If you chose a partner as a result of peer pressure or the desire to get into a relationship fast then probably you will get bored fast as well.

If you chose a partner who truly matches your needs and wants then boredom will never happen. Yes the initial excitement will also fade but after that you will realize that you are with a person that you really want.

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