Why your mobile phone can ruin your social skills

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Using your phone in public

Ever found yourself in a situation where you were alone in public then you found yourself checking the phone all the time?

For the first instance you might think that it's all about ending boredom and that might be correct to a certain extent but do you know that fear can also promote this behaviour?

When a person feels anxious in public his mind will usually try to find any possible method to help him distract himself from that anxiety he is experincig. Many of the behaviors people do in public are done just for the sake of ending anxiety and feelings of discomfort.

You might be wondering what's the connection between using a phone and feeling less anxious. In a previous article about smoking i explained how the repetitive moves a person does while smoking can provide him with some predictability that can help him feel anxious.

This means that in many cases people smoke just because they are anxious and not because they really need nicotine. The same goes for your mobile phone. When you do the moves that you are used to ,such as checking your favorite app, then you might feel less anxious.

Why your mobile phone can ruin your social skills

For the first instance this might seem like a good thing. After all no one wants to feel anxious right?

While this temporary soloution reduces anxiety it does a great harm on the long term as it prevents you from developing the needed social and coping skills. In my previous article Why tolerance to emotional pain is essential to reaching your goals i explained how some personality developments can never happen before you face some unwanted emotions.

When you put your mobile phone away you will be forced to experience anxiety. This is the first step your mind needs in order to think of a permanent soloution to end anxiety such as developing proper skills. No what happens when you use the phone is that you prevent yourself from doing the first step and so you remain stuck forever in the same place.

This is exactly why i said that Social drinking is the fastest way to ruin your self confidence. As you drink to feel brave you will prevent your mind from ever urging you to build courage and so your social skills will keep deteriorating.

Stop all similar distractions

If you tried to consciously find out how many distractions you use in life you will realize that so many things are actually preventing you from taking the needed steps to help you grow.

Find out those distractions then get rid of them one by one. Yes you will have to go through some pain sometimes but in the end your social skills will go up, your coping skills will go up and your self esteem will increase.

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