How to make friends at work, at school or anywhere else

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

How to make friends anywhere

Lots of people think that making friends is a process that happens randomly or by chance. In fact if you learned about friendship psychology you will discover that certain kinds of people get attracted to each other because of certain reasons.

The psychological needs people have bind them together and make them become friends. By getting a deeper understanding of these psychological factors you will be able to make more friends in school, at college, at work or anywhere else.

Let's suppose that a person always wanted to get attention. If someone came and gave this person the attention they are looking for then probably they will like them and become friends with them. This is a very simple example because in real life people have many needs that must be met for them to like someone.

By learning how to understand people's basic needs you won't just be able to become friends with them but you will also become their close friend.

Why do some people fail to make friends

The first thing you must do in order to make friends is to make sure that your problem is not internal. If you have a problem such as shyness, social phobia, lack of self confidence or anything else then your efforts might be in vain until you take the right steps to fix those internal problems.

Right after you deal with such a problem you can move on to step two which is learning how to make friends. Of course i am not asking you to wait until you build self confidence or end your shyness but at least you should start working on the solution before progressing to the next step.

Many people fail to make friends just because they don't have the right social skills and because they are held back by problems such as shyness or lack of self confidence.

What makes people become friends?

friends are people who share common interests. If you examined any group of friends you will find that they share common interests ,backgrounds, and values.

In my article Interpersonal attraction i said that even if a simple interest such as the desire to have fun was common among two people then they might become friends.

Based on these facts you must do the following if you want to make friends:

  • 1) Develop more interests: the more interests you have the more friends you will make. Not only will the development of new interests help you talk to new people but it will also help you find new things to discuss with others
  • 2) Hang out often: Hang out in public places instead of visiting a close friend at home. This will give you the chance to get to know your friend's friends if you met any of them by chance. Of course you might not feel like doing that everyday but your schedule should at least include some time for that
  • 3) Start a new activity: Start a new sport, take a computer course or learn a new language. Any new activity that you start will give you a chance to meet new people. In fact you can hit two birds by one stone by doing that
  • 4) Talk to people about their interests: If a person loves football and you talked with them about it then they are very likely to like you. This tip can help you develop new friends easily
  • 5) Learn how to make people laugh: People like the ones who make them feel good. Making people laugh is one of the things that can help you become friends with them easily
  • 6) Try new things: When you try new good things you might develop new interests. Not only will this tip make you more interesting to people but it will also help you with other areas in your life
  • 7) Join group activities: No matter where you live or what you do there will be some kind of a group activity taking place somewhere near you. Do your best to join a group activity because by doing so you will increase your chance of meeting new people

Improve your communication skills to make more friends

Certainly a charismatic and assertive person who knows how to communicate well will have more friends than a self-inhibited person.

Sometimes people fail to make friends because they lack some of these essential skills. Start right now to develop the important skills you lack such as the ability to talk to people, the ability to run conversations and the ability to say the things that people want to hear.

This will also be a good chance for you to improve your life as a whole and not just to make friends because each of these skills will benefit you later on in your life.

Find out the social skills that you lack then work on developing them. If that was the barrier to making friends then your social life will improve a great deal once you do that.

Always remember that making friends is all about doing those two things together:

  • 1) Living a life style that promotes meeting new people
  • 2) Having the right skills so that you can convert some of those people into friends

2knowmysef is not a complicated medical website nor a boring online encyclopedia but rather a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and presented in a simple way that you can understand and apply. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.

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