Shyness in children

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Shyness in children

Shyness is one of the most misunderstood traits by parents. When a parent finds that his child is shy he might think that this means that the child is polite but in fact shyness in children can be a dangerous indicator of many underlying problems that must be treated.

If the child was left with his shyness then he will grow up into a shy adult who wont feel comfortable around strangers and who will rarely talk in the company of new people.

A shy child might avoid people completely or stay silent in their company just because he is afraid to get judged in a bad way.

Because shyness prevents most social interactions the child grows up lacking the most essential social skills and as a result he losses confidence even more.

What does shyness in children mean?

Shyness is a method of protection that the child or the adult uses in order to prevent people from discovering something about him that he wants to hide. While there are many different causes for shyness still the concept remains the same.

For example, the child who was the first born and who was getting all the attention from his parents might develop shyness if a new brother was born who took the attention from him.

Because the child lost his favored position he started to think that someone will always outperform him and thus he decided to withdraw back and avoid people all together by being shy in order to prevent this from happening again.

In the Solid Self confidence program i said that shyness in children is just a method that the child uses to escape instead of facing problems directly.

Here is another example that would make things clear, if a child developed inferiority complex and didn't manage to get over it then there is a very big possibility that he will develop shyness as well in order to hide his true self, which he considers worthless, from others.

Overcoming shyness in children

The first and the most important step you should take to overcome shyness in children is not to ignore it like many parents does. Secondly you must seek professional help to find out what the child is trying to hide by being shy.

Once you find that thing your child is trying to hide treating his shyness would be an easy task. You will just have to focus on helping him getting rid of that thing he is trying to hide and then he wont be shy anymore.

When i was young i was shy as well. I discovered that the main problem that caused my shyness was perfectionism. I wanted to say everything right and as a result i used to talk once every half an hour after making tons of calculations.

The perfectionism i suffered from resulted from the feelings of inadequacy i always experienced when i was a teen. After gaining such insights i worked on building self confidence and as i kept progressing shyness and perfectionism disappeared.

In other words, the best way to get over shyness is to deal with the reason that made it appear in the first place instead of dealing with it directly.

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