What causes shyness - The psychology of shyness

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Understanding shyness

Shyness is one of the personality traits that can ruin self confidence if not treated.
Many people who want to overcome shyness either don't have an idea about what to do or either do the wrong things then find no results.

The key to overcoming shyness is to get a good understanding of human behavior in general so that you know why certain personality disorders are developed. Once you get this type of understanding getting over shyness will be an easy task.

In this article i will tell you how to overcome shyness.

Understanding shyness is the key to overcoming it

According to individual psychology any human behavior even if it seemed strange or abnormal was developed by the mind to reach a goal that is quite logical to the person.

From a distance shyness might appear like an odd behavior but when examined closely you will find that its usually developed to protect the person from getting exposed to people who might affect his well being.

If for example a child felt that he is less worthy than others thus developed feelings of inferiority then there is a big chance that he will develop shyness in order to protect himself from getting close to people who might discover that he is really worthless.

You will never be able to overcome shyness before you understand the exact purpose that your shyness is trying to serve.

In the Solid Self confidence program i said that people who fear exposing their true self to others because of thinking that there is something wrong with them usually develop shyness. If those people tried to overcome shyness itself without treating the underlying reason then their efforts might yield no results.

Possible causes of shyness

This brings us to a list of problems that could be the direct cause of shyness. Note that one or more of those factors can lead to shyness.

  • Lack of self confidence: Low self esteem or lack of self confidence can force the brain to try to protect the person by making him shy. See Why my self esteem is so low
  • Inferiority complex: feelings of inferiority could lead to shyness. If a person felt worthless he would be too reluctant to express himself or to interact with people
  • Perfectionism: Perfectionism can lead to shyness. If a person wanted to say everything perfectly then he might end up speaking much less and so becoming shy
  • Lack of social skills: When a person lacks proper social skills he will become self inhibited around others and he might become shy because of not finding anything to say. See How to develop social skills
  • Self image problems: Any kind of self inhibiting thoughts can lead to shyness. Since self image issues can lead to self inhibition around others they can lead to shyness
  • Fear of people: A bad past or a dysfunctional family can lead to many problems such as fear of intimacy or fear of people. Those problems can also cause shyness

How to overcome the shyness problem?

Its possible to overcome shyness by forcing yourself to talk to people but even if you managed to do it the underlying feelings of inferiority or self doubt will continue to exist and will lead to the formation of another behavioral problem.

For example, A shy person who managed to overcome his shyness without getting rid of an underlying inferiority might develop an superiority complex which is another way to his his inferiority feelings.

Thus to overcome shyness completely you need to examine your past, your beliefs about your self and understand the reason your mind is using such a strategy to let you avoid people.

Once you find that root cause deal with it and your shyness, which is just a symptom for that root cause, will disappear as well.

The best way to end a psychological disorder for good is to replace the strategy your mind was using with another one that helps it fulfill its goals.

In the case of shyness your mind didn't want you to interact with people in order to protect your well being, thus, if you can come up with another strategy that can help you reach the same goal then your subconscious mind will happily accept it.

In summary, you can replace an unwanted behavior with a better one provided that it serves the same goal the first used to serve.

2knowmysef is not a complicated medical website nor a boring online encyclopedia but rather a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and presented in a simple way that you can understand and apply. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.

The Solid confidence program was launched by 2knowmyself.com; the program will either help you become more confident or give you your money back.

Want to know more?

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How to prevent blushing

Getting over shyness

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