NLP , establishing rapport

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

How does it feel when rapport is established

Have you ever been to a foreign country that speaks a language that is much different than yours then suddenly found someone speaking your same language?

How will you feel like then?? You will feel that you are familiar and comfortable with the person right?

Certainly you will find yourself feeling comfortable with that person and you might even become friends with him. The reason you experienced such feelings is that rapport have been established between you both.

The definition of rapport according to NLP

rapport building is one of the NLP (neuro linguistic programming) techniques that can make other people have the same feelings towards you (the feelings you had towards that person you met abroad).

Establishing rapport is based on making the other person feel that there is something common between you and him. As a result he feels more comfortable in dealing with you.

How to establish rapport in short meetings

But how can you establish rapport in a quick meeting that takes less than 15 minutes?

In fact you aren't going to establish rapport on the conscious level but you are going to establish it on the unconscious level.

You just need to convince the subconscious mind of that person that there is something common between you, and guess what, this something could be the body language and tone of voice you use . When you mimic the body language of the other person he will unconsciously start to feel the same feelings associated with rapport establishment (familiarity and comfort)

of course you are not going to randomly mimic him because he may consciously notice your moves but instead you should follow these steps :

  • Notice his posture then make a move to be as close to it as possible without mimicking him 100%, just as in the first picture below
  • Few seconds later complete the move and take the same position he is taking. See pictures two and three
  • There is a great possibility that the person will take a new move. Just wait for few seconds and then repeat the previous steps
  • In addition to mimicking gestures you need to mimic his tone of voice and tempo
  • After you mimic few of his gestures try to take a different position yourself and see if he unconsciously mimics you. If he did then the rapport establishment process was successful

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