How to Raise Self-confident Children

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

The Importance of Building Self-confidence

The most important thing you could give to your child after teaching him how to worship God is self confidence. Lack of confidence could dramatically affect the social life, career, health and all other aspects of life of a grown up.

This means that by not raising a confident child you won’t just be leaving your child lacking confidence and feeling bad but you will also be placing obstacles in his path to happiness and success.

How to Raise Self-confident Children

Raising a self-confident child is not a hard task. You just need to get rid of some of your false beliefs about your child and to treat him in a different way.

The following is what you should do to raise a self confident child:

  • He's only a child: One of the major causes of a lack of self-confidence in children is letting them believe that they are worthless because they are children. If the child felt that his opinion is not important as others and that he's not as worthy as grown ups then he will certainly lack confidence. How many mothers and fathers ignore their child's wants or needs? How many mothers and fathers shout at the child in public and scold him in front of everyone for making a mistake? Know that your child does not think that he is a child but he knows that he is a person. If he was treated as a worthy person he will feel worthy otherwise he will lack self-confidence as a grown up. Let the child feel that he is important, let him choose his own clothes whenever possible, let him pick his toys and don’t force him to follow your plans as if he is worthless
  • Scolding him when he makes mistakes: Shouting at a child or calling him names like “stupid” will probably make him think that only stupid people make mistakes. This is ridiculous of course, since we are not perfect beings. Later on when the child finds himself making lots of mistakes, just like every human being does, he will think that he is stupid. When a child makes mistakes, talk to him about them and be patient. Don’t forget that you make mistakes too.
  • Treating him as a thing and not a person: I have seen many mothers who firmly grab their children when they stop to watch something and mothers who squeeze the hands of their children firmly when they do anything wrong. What do you think the child will think of himself? He will think that he is an unworthy little thing!!
  • Encourage him to take risks: If your child tries to climb a chair then don’t just run and stop him but instead put your hands around him without touching him and let him try. Of course in some cases this may not be possible but whenever you can you should encourage him rather than prevent him from taking risks.
  • Compliment his achievements: When your child makes a minor achievement, like completing a puzzle then give him a chocolate, clap your hands for him or do anything else that encourages him to achieve more. This will result in both a confident and a motivated child.
  • Lying to your child: Not only will lying to the child make him grow up distrusting everyone but it will also damage his self-confidence. If you told your child that a toy is bad (because you found it expensive) he may not believe you and he may think that he's not that important. Tell him the truth, that the toy is too expensive and that your budget is limited. Let him feel that you are sharing the truth with him.

It's All About Making Him Feel That He Is Important

All of the previous points can be summarized in one point: make the child feel that he is an important and worthy being. Treat him as a person and not as a child. If you did so you will raise self confident children.

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