why are some people mean to others

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Why are some people mean to others

Why are there mean people around?
Why are there bullies, people who make fun of others or who criticize others harshly?

Before i answer these questions i first need to explain to you few important points.
Before i left my day job i used to feel really anxious each morning because of always expecting an annoyed customer to call (it used to happen often)

During that period even after work very tiny things used to irritate me that are not by any means related to my work. Noise for example, the sound of my phone ringing or even the sound of TV.

After reading about that and researching the internet i discovered that tiny events usually remind us of our already existing anxieties without we notice.
So what does this has to do with mean people you find on your way?

Mean people safeguard themselves from anxieties

Because of the unpleasant feelings people get when they are reminded of their anxieties some of them take extra measures in order to prevent themselves from encountering these situations that remind them of their anxieties.

Take showy people as an example, In the Solid Self confidence program i said that
they fear to be judged because deep within they think that others might devalue them and so they protect themselves from being valued by taking the initiative and showing off.

Most mean people you meet are those who are trying to escape from something that reminds them of a certain fear or anxiety.

The bully is a person who might have been raised in an environment that made him feel helpless and so to prevent anything from reminding himself of that fact he takes the initiative and bully others to feel in control.

Those who harshly criticize you or judge you for no reason might be the people who feel inferior and who try to safeguard themselves by devaluing others in order to feel superior.

Those who break your heart might be wants who feel worthless and who jump from a relationship to another in order to gain some approval and feel worthy.

How to deal with mean people

After reading the previous few lines you shouldn't feel bad anymore when someone criticizes you or attacks you but instead you should feel pity for those people.

Even calling them mean people would be a wrong. Those people are victims of the poor life decisions they took.

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