Why do people treat me badly

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

People have multiple identities

When you play with a little child you will find yourself talking and acting in a childish way, When someone bothers you or makes you angry you might find yourself shouting at him and when you are with the person you love you might find yourself cheerful and nurturing.

So which one is your true personality? Which behavior best describes you? Are you that childish grown up who plays with the kids, are you that angry man who shouts at everyone or are you that nurturing lover?

Actually you are all of these but you tend to change your identity according to the situation you are in.

Why do people treat me badly?

So what does this has to do with people who treat you badly and what’s the relationship between such identities and people's way of treating you?

Just as you have multiple identities people have multiple identities too. Based on the way you treat them or based on the words you say you can trigger any of their dormant identities and so find them acting in a different way.

Just go to any stranger and punch him in his face then see how his reaction will be. I know that usually you don’t punch people in the face and that this is not the reason they treat you badly but sometimes a simple word that you say could be more powerful than a punch in the face.

Some people hate criticism, others hate seeing people talking about themselves while a third group hate those who don't give them space. Whenever you do something that somebody hates even if you think of it as a trivial matter then the response is going to be in the form of a bad treatment.

Understand people if you want them to treat you in a good way

A friend of mine is egocentric and very showy; he believes that people are insulting him when they question his competence. As a person who understands how others think, I try not to say anything that makes him think that I am not acknowledging his skills or abilities. Of course I am not forced to do so but I do it on intention because I want to maintain my good relationship with that person.

In short, if you want people to treat you in a good way then you should understand their personalities by knowing the exact triggers that motivates them to change their peaceful identities and treat you with horrible ones.

What if they always treat me badly?

So what if those people always treat you badly without doing a single bad action or saying a single word? This might mean that those people prefer the evil identity or the one that results in an unwelcoming behavior.

This should disqualify them from being your friends. The world is big and unless you find people who respect you and love you for who you are then you should be looking for other friends somewhere else.

What if i didn't take any actions?

Ignore a problem or keep it behind your back and you will become depressed. In my book In my book, The ultimate guide to getting over depression i said that if you ignored the signal your mind is sending you, which is depression in this case, then the signal will intensify.

When your mind sends you depression it means that it wants you to deal with your problems but if you ignored them then your depression will become worse.

If you want to live a happy life and if you want to prevent bad moods from visiting you then don't allow your problems to accumulate and deal with them as soon as they appear in your life.

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