Why do some couples argue all the time

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Why do people argue?

Why do some couples argue all the time?
Why do some couples never seem to agree on anything?

In a previous article about the desire to be right i explained how some personality traits can lead to arguing. If a person is Egoistic he might hate the fact that someone is trying to oppose him and as a result that person might argue about everything.

Also if a person feels that his authority gets challenged whenever someone objects about one of the things he said then this person might also argue a lot.

Indirect Power struggles inside relationships can also lead to intense arguing. If both partners are trying to seize command of the house then they both might argue a lot.

But apart from those personality traits what else could let a good couple argue all the time?
What about good people who always keep arguing about everything even though they don't have any hidden agendas?

Why do some couples argue all the time

The simple answer is : people argue because they have belief differences. Beliefs are the foundation the a person lays his whole life on. If a person's belief was challenged he will quickly defend it and he might even become aggressive.

People defend their beliefs fiercely because they are the core of their psychological stability. In most cases people argue because they have certain belief differences. A couple that argues very often is usually a one that is formed of two people who have totally different beliefs about life.

In such a case the purpose of each argument isn't just to prove oneself right but it's also to prove ones beliefs right. Yes in some cases arguments can be a symptom of a power struggle but in many cases they represent the desire to validate one's own beliefs.

More problems that lead to arguing

Arrogance is one trait that leads to extensive arguing. An Arrogant person will hate to be proven wrong and as a result he might keep arguing about anything just because being proven wrong is a threat to his Ego.

Also if the couple aren't really attracted to each other then this unconscious repulsion can show up in the form of extensive arguing.

I have said in a previous article called Why people complain too much that a person can argue or complain in order to feel superior or in control. In other words arguing can just be a method a person uses to reach a higher or more important goal.

In such case the person won't usually care about the topic itself as much as he will care about proving that he is right and that the other person is wrong.

How to deal with that problem?

Extensive arguing can be a serious problem. The most important thing a couple needs to do is to find out exactly why they are arguing too much. Finding the reason is the essential step needed to knowing the next step to take.

Depending on that reason a certain action plan can be put in place that helps those people stop arguing that much.

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