Arrogant people are insecure

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Arrogant people are insecure

We were in a public place and suddenly this very attractive girl came in. Whenever her eyes met the eyes of any other person she smiled to him gently.

A friend of mine then came and told me "Hey Farouk, what's with this pretty girl who is smiling to everyone". For my friend that seemed like a weird behaviour but for me it seemed like a perfectly healthy behaviour that is rare nowadays.

This girl was 100% sure that she is attractive, she knew that people like to be around her, she was extreemly confident and she wasn't arrogant by any means!!

Do you know how would she have behaved like if she was arrogant? She would have done the exact opposite! not only she wouldn't have smiled to people but she might have ignored those who smiled to her as well!

In the Solid Self confidence program i said that arrogant people act that to devalue others so that they can appear worthy! This strategy is only used by insecure people.

Why arrogant people are insecure

Before i tell you why arrogant people are insecure let me first tell you how a secure person thinks.

A person who feels good being himself never fears rejections because he never puts high weight to people's opinion. Because he thinks that way he becomes friendly with most people unless someone forces him to do the opposite.

The girl in the previous example felt completely secure and that's why she was friendly with almost everyone. Of course her behaviour was not that common because the majority of people feel insecure.

An arrogant person on the other hand is a person who fears rejection and who cares about the opinion of others. Because he is not happy being himself he fears to do any action that shows others that he is interested in them so that if they rejected him he don't look bad.

A person who feels insecure might approach you while frowning or speaking in an arrogant way just to prove to you that he is not interested in you. The main reason he does so is to prevent you from thinking that he is interested in you just because he feels insecure.

Arrogance, insecurity and rejection

Ill start by rejecting you before you do it
that's how many arrogant people think!

They treat others in an arrogant way because they are not sure that they will approve them. Had they been sure that they would have been approved by others, in other words had they been secure, they would have been as friendly as the girl in the example above.

I know that you might start to think of other examples where people become arrogant even though they didn't care about the approval of others. In such a case read part II of this article to understand what else can make a person arrogant.

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