Why do some men prefer older women

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Understanding human behaviour

for any uncommon human behaviour there is usually the explanation you get from the person who does it and the real motive behind it.

In order to understand human behaviour you need to forget about the words people say and focus on understanding the way their brains work. After all a showy person isn't going to tell you that he married a blond in order to show off but he will tell you that he fell in love with her (and he won't be lying).

Ask any man who prefers older women why he gets attracted to them and most probably he will give you a reason that has nothing to do with his real motives simply because he doesn't understand his own motives.

The second thing you need to know about human behaviour is that more than one person can engage in the same behaviour for different reasons. This means that two men could get attracted to older women for two completely different reasons.

Why do some men prefer older women

Put in mind that i am not talking about a special case where a man loved a woman then discovered that she is older than him but i am talking about men who mostly get attracted to women when they discover that they are older than them.

So why do some men prefer older women? Here are some possible explanations:

  • 1) In need of a mother figure: Human beings use love to satisfy their most important unmet needs. If a man didn't get enough nurturing from his mother or if his mother was absent in a way or another then he might start getting attracted to older women. Because the subconscious mind believes that an older woman can provide that man with the love he was deprived of it will make him attracted to older women (see How the subconscious mind affects a person's behaviour)
  • 2) Childhood & past experiences: Spoiled children, only children and the ones who were showered with excessive care might develop the need to be taken care of and this need might remain even when they become adults. In such a case those men might get attracted to older women because they want someone to take care of them the same way they got used to
  • 3) Raising their self esteem: Older women usually have less choices and as a result they become more devoted to their men. This kind of devotion raises the self esteem of that man since the woman he is with idolizes him and showers him with attention.
  • 4) To feel superior: Some men seek older women in order to feel superior. After all managing to attract someone from a parallel world can provide a strong Ego boost to most people. I once met a guy in his late twenties and he was showing off about his ability to attract women in forties. This made him feel special or superior to his peers. This feeling becomes stronger if this woman had a high status and because many old woman have good careers their status is usually higher than the status of younger women.
  • 5) Sexual Fantasies: Men are turned on by sexual novelty and they usually get bored if they remained with the same partner throughout their life time. Men will always go after novel and new experiences if they had the chance. Being with an older woman is one of the sexual phases that many men will pass through and as a result they might find themselves only attracted to them. (see also Why some men lose interest after having sex

Sexual desire and attraction to older women

There is one very important fact you should understand about sexual desire. The brain uses sexual desire to help humans satisfy their psychological needs. In other words if a man told you that he is attracted to an older woman because of sexual desire then know that there is another underlying reason apart from sexual attraction. (see also How psychological factors affect sexual desire)

The man who says so wont be lying because he simply might not be aware of the fact that sexual desire can be a tool his subconscious mind uses to help him reach a bigger goal.

People who don't understand how others perceive physical attraction usually develop the imagined ugliness disorder.

The book The psychology of physical attraction explained was released by 2knowmyself. This book won't just help you understand how the attraction process happens but it will also help you discover how attractive you are and will assist you in getting over the imagined ugliness problem.

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