Types of difficult people

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Difficult people

Having dealt with the most difficult people ever in my life i came to the conclusion that sometimes we call a person "difficult" when we fail to understand him or when we fail to deal with him.

But as I met more people i started to realize that some people have a certain combination of personality traits that makes it impossible to deal with them even if you are a communication skills expert.

The only way to deal with those people is to understand these difficulties they have in their personalities then to confront them with it. Whether the difficult person thinks that he is always right or whether he believes he knows anything, trying to tell him what's right will never work.

Unless you face that person with his own difficult personality traits he will keep thinking that he right and others are wrong.

Types of difficult people

Below is a list of the different personality traits that results in what we call a difficult person. Before you know how to deal with a difficult person you must first understand what category he fits into.

  • Mr I know everything: Thinking that he knows everything doesn’t make him a difficult person, but when the person knows nothing yet has this belief then he becomes a typical difficult person. Using facts to talk to that person is the best way to deal with him. When that person gets proven wrong more than once he will consider his attitude
  • Mr i am always right: if someone is stubborn in addition to being a narcissist, he will then think that he is always right and he will never change his mind especially if someone tried to pressure him. In such a case you need to help that person get over narcissism first and then handle his stubborn behaviour later
  • Mr and Mrs victim: lots of people think that they are victims but some of them refuse to stop playing the victim’s role even when solutions are offered to them . Those are what we call drama queens, they feel bad when anything happens then keep playing the victim’s role even if everybody around them kept trying to help them out.
  • Mr always feeling bad We all feel bad but when someone is overly sensitive and in the same time its very difficult to cheer him up then he will also fit in the list of difficult people.
  • Mrs Cant live without them: We all lose hope sometimes but when we think that there is no hope and then believe that we are always right then we will stay broken forever. In my book how to get over anyone in few days i described how do some people remain broken for years just because they believed in some false beliefs like "the one concept" or "the soul mate" then believed that they are always right.
  • Hypocrites: Hypocrites say things and do the opposite things. They usually have double standards and they are more interested in their own good than anything else. The problem with those people is that they act based upon their beliefs which can hardly be changed unless they realize they have been doing something wrong.
  • Drama kings and queens: Drama kings and queens can be very hard to handle unless you understand their deep emotional wounds. Once those wounds are understood you will be able to deal with them in a much easier way. See Dealing with Drama queen.
  • Aggressive people: Some people were brought up to believe that aggression is the best way to solve a problem. Showing those people that you have enough power can force them to go into negotiations
  • Overly critical people: Overly critical people are actually in need of help. Most of those people have a strong inner critic that keeps criticizing their actions all the time. Those people need someone to help them develop their coping skills for when they do they will become more tolerant to life problems and they won't need to be that critical

How to deal with a difficult person

There are lots of other types of difficult people but the principle that makes them difficult remains the same, they have two personality traits that together block the road to any further negotiation with them. Those people will always keep thinking that they are doing nothing wrong and that others carry the blame until someone who is brave confronts them with the truth.

there is only one way to deal with such people, confronting them and telling them about their complexes, if they didn’t respond then you should never deal with them. Those people will still act the same way until someone draws their attention to what they are doing or until they realize that everybody is being repelled away from them because of their behavior.

The important advice i have for you is not to confront them while arguing with them simply because this will result into a fight and their defense mechanisms will become activated. If you want to convince them that what they are doing is wrong then you have to pick a time where they are feeling happy and relaxed so that they can listen to you to the end. Don't lose your temper or shout not to give them any reason to resist or to activate their defenses.

Once you tell them so, they will start to have doubts and then as they face life situations they will reconsider that you have told them. Whenever they will come across a new situation they will remember your words until one day they will discover that they are doing something wrong.

In my article "how to convince anyone to believe in anything" i said that you don't need to make someone believe what you are saying immediately in order to convince him, you just need to make him have some doubts and then the other life situations he will face will do the rest of the job.

Confront those people at a time where they can listen to you, because its the only way to deal with them.

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