No expectations no disappointments

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

No expectations no disappointments

How many times have you heard the phrase “No expectations, no disappointments”?
How many times have you used it as a rule in your life not to get disappointed?
How many times have you decided to have no expectations in order not to get disappointed?

First of all let us examine this belief from a psychological point of view. When you develop expectations for something your mind will anticipate some kind of reward. Now if you got a reward that is less than the reward you expected then you will certainly feel disappointed.

This example is very popular in movies where you can see a good movie then end up disliking it just because you expected more. So does this mean that we have to lower our expectations in order to be happy in life?

In fact that's what cowards do.

Under pressure, we tend to forget who we are

Under pressure and the stress of life many of us start to lose sight of their true selves. Many of us start to lose their hopes and dreams and so get disappointed.

One of the big mistakes some people make is that they decide to become pessimists in order not to experience the pain of disappointment again. But do they succeed? No they never succeed, why? Because they are just trying to fool themselves.

Who is the real you?

If you are an optimist or if you are someone who once had some good expectations of himself then know that you thought like that because you are really an optimistic person and because you really believed that you deserve to get what you were going after.

This is what your real personality is like and this is why you are an optimist and an ambitious person. Why are you trying to program yourself to be someone else?

Whatever efforts you use to convince yourself that you should be a pessimistic person will never work. you can’t go against your true self. yes you can change some of your behavior if you wanted provided that you truly believe in that new behavior and provided that your subconscious mind is in alignment with your interests but when it comes to fooling yourself to become a pessimist rather than an optimist then this will never work.

Strength and disappointment

Know that changing the way you think from better to worse just to avoid disappointment is just an escapement method. You are just afraid of experiencing some bad emotions and so you are trying to escape to a new way of thinking that will protect you from getting disappointed.

Know that personal strength will not come from trying to avoid disappointment at any cost. It will only come when you become an optimistic person and bear whatever happens. Don’t let external conditions shape you, be yourself and challenge the external conditions.

Lower your expectations and you will become miserable

Do you know what will happened if you lowered your expectations?

You will go for smaller and smaller goals until you will end up living a miserable life. Getting disappointed few times then ending up with what you really want is 100 times better than avoiding disappointment and living a mediocre life.

Under the excuse of wanting to avoid disappointment many people give up on their dreams, live below their potential and avoid planning for the future. The negative emotions that result from such actions is actually hundreds of times stronger than the negative emotions resulting from disappointment. See Read this before giving up.

After all disappointment is temporary if you moved forward fast but living below your standards is a permanent thing that will keep bothering you everyday.

You are better than that.

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Did that help?

OK, but how can I be optimistic when there is no way out?

Yes, but my problem is related to relationship disappointment

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