Enjoying the suffering of others

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Enjoying the suffering of others

You might be thinking that sadists are the only ones who enjoy the suffering of others and that normal people never feel good when they see someone suffering but that's not true.

Your beliefs might or might not be true depending upon the type of suffering you are talking about. Most of mentally balanced humans will feel bad when they see an accident, someone crying or someone dying but when the kind of suffering changes to work related problems, misfortune in life or poor achievements then a great percentage of people will be very happy to hear about it.

Sounds strange? well its all about getting an Ego boost and feeling good about one's self. Read this article to know more.

Boosting our egos by knowing that others are suffering

Take a quick look at the below conversation, the lines in italics are my own comments about the conversation:

Tom: Hey I heard brad is having a hard time in his new job

Sam: Oh really?? Are you sure? (actually this question means, TELL ME MORE)

Tom: Yes he earns a really small salary and works all day (I earn more and work less, I am pretty smart huh?)

Sam: oh, that’s the problem with government work (He wasn't smart enough to avoid such jobs, unlike me)

Tom: yeah I wonder why he did that to himself (he just wanted to say, if he was just as smart as me he would have avoided the pain))

When we feel less worthy than others or when we don't feel that adequate we tend to seek anything that can give a boost to our self esteem. Sadly one of the methods most people use to regain their self worth is to put others down.

After all if X,Y,Z and B are all bad then this means that I am Good!! The reason some people enjoy the suffering of others is that it makes them feel more worthy, gives them an Ego boost and let them think that they made the right choices.

As you saw in the previous conversation the reason Tom started this conversation was to give himself an Ego boost because he wasn’t feeling adequate and the same goes for Sam who joined him and approved his words.(see Egotism).

There is only one way to feel worthy

There is only one way to feel really worthy without deceiving yourself or playing a game that your mind won’t accept which is to push yourself up instead of putting others down. (see Self deception methods).

In my article why do people gossip I explained how gossiping can be one of the tools people use to give themselves an Ego boost then claim that they were just bored and found nothing else to say.

People who feel Adequate don’t need to know that others are suffering in order to feel good but only those who are unsure of the choices they made in life become reassured when they know that others are suffering.

After all if I am not sure of my choices but others are suffering more than me then I must have made the correct choices, right?

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