How to be happy being single

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

How to be happy being single

Contrary to common beliefs you must feel happy while you are single and happier when you are in a relationship. If you are free of psychological problems and emotional wounds then being single won’t bother you at all.

On the contrary you can be happy while enjoying the privileges of being commitment free. Sadly some people have emotional dependency on relationships in such a way that they can’t live while being single.

The relationship becomes the air that they breath and being single for them is the same as being depressed. Contrary to what they think, this is abnormal and must be dealt with before the problem grows bigger and affects their life in a bad way.

What are you trying to get out of the relationship?

The only reason that could make someone unable to live without a relationship is being unable to fulfill a certain emotional need except through the relationship. If you can’t be happy while being single then you must ask yourself the following questions:

  • Am I trying to reinforce my low self esteem by finding a source of love and encouragement?
  • Am I already sad and trying to find a quick fix to make me feel better?
  • Is loneliness killing me and I am just seeking a relationship in order to not feel lonely?
  • Why am I trying to mask my real emotions by trying to get into a relationship instead of trying to fix them??
  • Am i too scared to face my problems that i want a distraction in the form of a relationship?
  • Do i mistakenly associate being single with being worthless , unimportant or unsuccessful?
  • Am i trying to get into a relationship just because everyone else is doing it? See How peer pressure leads to divorce

Love addiction and being single

As you may have already guessed, if you can’t live while being single then you are using the relationship as a pain killer to help you bear the problems that you never tried to solve.

In my book How to get over anyone in few days I explained how some people can find it very hard to get over someone If the main goal behind the relationship was fulfilling a certain unmet need like feeling more confident about themselves.

That’s why love addicts hardly recover from breakups unless they deal with the root cause that made them relationship addicts in the first space.

If your problem was loneliness or low self esteem then getting into a relationship won’t solve your problems but it will only mask them and make you more vulnerable to depression right after the breakup.

In short, fix your emotional wounds and you will become very happy even if you are single.

Do you have a messed up social life?

We humans can't survive without intimacy. After all we are social beings. Now if you don't have at least two close friends and if your social life is messed up then certainly staying single won't be tolerable for a relationship will be your only source of intimacy. See Overcoming the fear of intimacy.

Now the soloution in such a case is simple. Fix your social life, create new friendships and make sure you are already satisfying the important need for intimacy all humans have.

Is your life messed up?

If your life is messed up in such a way that nothing pleases you then certainly a relationship might be the only way out. In other words when a person has a life he will become less dependent on a relationship.

If for example you have one source of income then certainly you will get very emotional if any problems happened to that source of income but if you had four sources of income then certainly you will be more emotionally resilient.

The same exactly happens with relationships. If you have nothing but the relationship then you won't be able to live without it while if your life was full of other things then certainly staying single won't be a catastrophe.

Fix your wrong beliefs about relationships

The number one reason that prevents people from being happy while they are single are the false beliefs they have about relationships such as 'love is the soloution to all problems' or 'all you need is love'.

Once you get rid of those false beliefs your ability to stay single will become higher and you won't have any problems staying without a relationship.

2knowmysef is not a complicated medical website nor it's a boring online encyclopedia but it's a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and that is presented in a simple and obvious way. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.The book "How to get over someone in few days" was released by 2knowmyself, the book is a 100% guarantee that you will get over anyone else you will be refunded.

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