How to deal with negative feedback about your looks

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Solid evidence for ugliness

In my previous article about Imagined ugliness i explained how some people, who look good, believe that they are ugly.

I also said that those people have learned to interpret different situations incorrectly in such a way that strengthens their false beliefs about their looks.

But the challenge that some of those people face is encountering a crystal clear evidence that shows that they are ugly according to their own interpretation, this evidence comes in the form of direct negative feedback about their looks.

I sometimes get messages from people who tell me that they don't look good and that someone told them this before!

I decided to write this post to tell you how to deal with the negative feedback you get about your looks.

How to deal with negative feedback about your looks

Before i can tell you how to deal with such negative feedback you first need to know the following facts:

  • 1) Perception of physical looks is not constant: Studies have found that people can change their perception of physical looks when they experience emotional changes. If for example you approached someone who was annoyed then he might find you less attractive than you truly are
  • 2) Women's perception of attractiveness changes all the time: As a result of hormonal changes women experience throughout the month their perception of physical looks changes all the time. During the time when women are most fertile they get attracted to men with more masculine faces while during all other parts of the cycle they get attracted to men with feminine facial features. (see also Why you need more than one strategy to attract the same woman)
  • 3) The subconscious mind records bad history: A person could find you unattractive just because you look like someone he doesn't like. Bad past experience such as being treated in a bad way by a parent or a friend can make this person find all of those who look like the ones who treated him badly unattractive (see Attractiveness perception psychology)
  • 4) Your personality affects the way people see you: A study has found that people can change their beliefs about the physical attractiveness of others after they get in contact with them. Mainly the study has proven that your personality affects the way people perceive your physical looks (see The connection between attractiveness and personality)
  • 5) Jealous people can find you unattractive: In a previous article i explained how jealousy can force a person's mind to dig deeper into your flaws and so help him find you unattractive even if you were really good looking. (see Jealousy and attractiveness perception)

The conclusion

Even if someone told you that you are not good looking it doesn't mean that you really look bad but it just means that something affected his perception of your physical looks.

If some people told you before that you are attractive but a person or two told you that you are ugly then you can safely ignore these negative comments and consider them perception errors.

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Want to know more?

Why do some people believe they are unattractive

Why a jealous friend might find you unattractive

How hormonal changes affect females preferences for men

What to do if you are not her type

How body smell affects attractiveness

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